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Friday, July 16, 2010

TGIF

Hey people. How are you all doing this fine Friday? It has been a long quite relaxing day for me ( I needed it). This is my first thankful post in a while. GNG and Jaycee actually inspired this post.




I am thankful for God almighty. He has been so good to me and I truly appreciate him. I need to get closer to God for real. I woke up very early this morning when I felt my bed vibrating and I heard a little sound. I didn’t think it was anything serious, but I was kind was kind of curious what it was about. I later found out that we had a little earthquake in our area. It didn’t even last for a minutes. Thank God it wasn’t that serious. All those earthquake incidents I have seen in movies freaks me out a little. It made me wonder, imagine if it was that serious. I don’t even want to think about it. I just want to give God the glory, honor and adoration.







I want to thank God for my life. A couple of people close to my heart have passed away, but he has kept me here for a reason. I hope I will be able to fulfill them. Yes it’s been very stressful, I don’t have financial aid and I refuse to take loan,( stubborn head, hope I don’t kill myself in the process..lol) so I have to work my butt of to keep myself situated. ( like 2face will say “ I work hard for the money it is not funny plus I gotta say it’s not easy at all at all. I no fit afford to get lazy). It could have been worse, so I refuse to complain. I have a roof on top my head, Nightrider has been a sweetheart (the car no dey give me wahala at all), every part of my body is functioning well. I don’t need a ventilator to breath, I don’t need a wheel chair or clutches to walk, I don’t need a catheter to urinate and I have never been in an accident in my life. What more do I want. The best is yet to come. Nothing good comes easily.






I am thankful for my family and friends. My family has been more than wonderful ( dem no get part 2). I don’t even know where to start. They have always been there for me no matter what. I am entirely grateful to my mum and my brothers. VSNC, wow that babe is amazing. There was a reason God brought both of us in this earth together. She is my right hand chic. Even though she is one of the most sarcastic human being I have ever met..lol. That is what makes her VSNC I guess. I love my family die, I cannot ask for more. I still miss my Dad though; gosh I miss that man badly. I know he is in a better place. I thankful I had the opportunity be associated him. I am thankful for my friends, they have been understanding. God bless their heart, I hope I don’t lose them. There is so much a human being can take. I am thankful for the friends I have met through blogsville. LNQ was the first friend I made through this community. I have made more great friends. I appreciate all of you and you know twitter is not that bad. Original Mgbeke is having a ball there..lol.



**********************************************************************************************

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TROUBLE WHEN:



Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich.

You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.

Your suggestion box starts ticking.

Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.

You see the captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

They pay your wages out of petty cash.

You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.

You tell the barber what you think about his prices before you get your haircut.

Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.

The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell your wife.

The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.



_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "****! THAT'S the word!"






Have a nice weekend people. i may not see you guyz in a while : (

Thursday, July 15, 2010

PLEASE BE SAFE

Shawty imma only tell you this once you the illest bah bah dah dah oh and for you lovin imma die hard like bruce willis. You got spark, you you got spunk…. Your love.

I am not a big fan of nicki minaj, but I really like the flow of the song especially her jamo accent ( person go say wetin concern me with that one..lol. Relax jor).



My people how dey go dey go. How are you beautiful people doing this fine Thursday. Okay I am not going to say it. Who am I kidding, Fourth day in a roll bay bay…lol. Go with it , go with it JAM!. It ain’t too much stuff.. it ain’t too much.. it ain’t too much for me to JAM!. ( hehe that was me singing the Michael Jackson song- Jam)



I know, i know you have heard about this over and over again. Well here i go again. People always hear about the importance of using a condom, but do they really listen. I hear them saying skin to skin is way better, there is no fun in using a rubber. I know you have heard this on many occasions, but do you know the type of sexually transmitted infections you can acquire. Even does of you who claim you haven’t let anyone downtown, but you still perform oral sex. Yes most people say it is not as risky, but do you know you can also contact sexually transmitted diseases like gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes. Most of this disease has no cure. Please be safe out there, prevention is always better than cure.


I remember when they used to advertise the gold circle condom. Go for gold..lol, anytime that ad comes up i will recite everything. My brothers would be like shut this girl. I will shout on top of my lungs( just for the fun of it) until i realised what the gold circle was all about..lol. Same with the always ad, until Mrs. Flo knocked on the door. My brothers will be like have you noticed bsnc is so quiet when the always ad comes on. What happened? I was like somethings are left unsaid..lol



These are some funny ads I saw on the net





Nike Condoms: Just do it.

Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.

Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.

Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.

Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.

Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.

Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.

Macintosh Condom: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.

Ford Condoms: The best never rest.

Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.

Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey - you never know.

California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?

Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.

KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.

Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.

Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.

Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmm, good.

General Electric Condoms: We bring good things to life!

AT&T Condoms: Reach out and touch someone.

Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper.

Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today?

Energizer Condoms: It keeps going and going and going....

M&M condom: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!

Taco Bell Condoms: Get some; make a run for the border.

MCI Condoms: For friends and family

Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!

The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter.

Delta Airlines Condoms travel pack: Delta is ready when you are.

United Airlines Condoms travel pack: Fly United.

The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.



***********************************************************************************************
The next time you want to get Jiggy with it. Remember this...


The plant manufactures various latex products, and has a reputation for using cutting edge technology in its manufacturing process.

On one side of the building, the factory makes baby bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise, and the shift manager asked his tour guide what it was doing.

As the rubber is being injected into the mold, it makes a hiss noise. he said The popping sound is from needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.

On the other side of the building, the two men look at the condom making machine. This machine makes a hiss.. hiss hiss-pop sound during the manufacturing process.

Wait a second, the future shift manager says, I know what the hiss, hiss is but whats with the pop noise every once in awhile?

Oh, that he he. Its the same as the baby bottle nipple process. said the guide It pokes a hole in every third condom.

But that cant be good for the condoms! the observant shift manager replied.

Nah, but its really good for the baby bottle nipple business!

Have a good one

PS: shorty if you no get this one, no comment oh..lol

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

ODIKWA VERY SERIOUS

Hello beautiful people. Wow three days back to back. I am on a roll ( updating spree toh bad oh..lol). Okay I heard and unfortunately saw wande coal’s pic abi na photoshop, No comment biko..lol. ( my poor eyes)







It has been a long day, still have stuff to do. Thanks for the best wishes in my exams. That exam was not easy oh ( It was like I was inside the battle field and I forgot my double barrel). First of all the room was extremely cold. I know it is hot outside, but kini big deal (you go think say we be stock fish inside deep freezer). When I saw the questions eh, the headache wey follow me no be child’s play. I did the best I could, but that my prof is wicked sha. The chapters she told us not to worry about were the exact ones she brought out ( the thing be like film trick). She reminded my of that trybesmen song "plenty plenty nonsense" lol. I looked around the class just to confirm that I wasn’t going coco and I saw the Kia-wetin-be-this look on people’s faces. There was the particular babe I couldn’t stop looking at ( lol I know inside exam condition).








First she took out her jacket, 2 minutes later she went to the bathroom. Five minutes later this babe was sweating profusely. ( as in like a baked turkey). Next, she was fanning herself with her paper (inside AC oh). When she stood up the third time to use the bathroom, I could see wet patches on her dress behind. She was wearing the white cute dress ( na sweat be that inside her bombom, odikwa very serious oh ). I felt sorry for the babe, but there was nothing I could do to help me. I mean I was in the same predicament. After the exam, I went to check on the babe to see how she was doing. She went on to tell me that as soon as she saw the exam questions, her heart started beating faster and she couldn’t see clearly. She also said she felt the urge to use the bathroom. ( na wa o, wetin exam no go cause, premature hypertension, temporary cataracts and sudden diarrhea ewo! God punish devil). The babe was still sick when I saw her today. I was in a crappy mood that day, but GNG calmed me down ( after I harassed her though..lol). She is my newly adopted big sista ( yes its by force). I always wanted a big sista to harass..lol. Funny thing is I ended up getting a B in that exam, not bad abi 






Someone sent me this message. Please pass the message across.






Please take time to read!! Very important!!!

A good friend of ours in Mequon lost their 25 year old son (Arun Gopal Ratnam) in a fire at home June 4th.

This is what happened. He graduated with MBA from University of Wisconsin-Madison two weeks earlier and came home. Had a lunch with his dad at home and decided to go back to clean up his room at school. Father told him to wait and see his mother before he goes back for a few days.

He decided to take a nap while waiting for his mom to come home from work.

Neighbors called 911 when they saw black smoke coming out of the house. Their 25 year old son Arun died in the three year old house. It took several days of investigation to find out the cause of the fire.

It was determined that the fire was caused by lap top in the bed.

When the lap top is on the bed cooling fan does not get air to cool the computer and that is what caused the fire.

He did not even wake up to get out of the bed he died of carbon monoxide (CO).

The reason I'm writing this to all of you is that I have seen all of us using our lap top in bed. Let us all decide and make it a practice not to do that. Risk is real. Let us make it a rule not to use lap top in bed or put computer on bed with blankets and pillows around.

Broadcast this message & you may save others:)







**************************************************************************************


A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without

Have a nice day people. On to the next exam( I know, no be me first go school..lol)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

YOU WERE CLOSE

Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage - Jean Anouilh



Shorty, Myne, leggy, Ms. O and Soul Boutique thanks alot for the congratulatory message, but you guyz did not even attemp the riddles ahn ahn..lol. Its all good though. Much love :)


Simeon and Sirius thanks alot. Simeon you got two right..lol, not bad at all. Wow sirius you tried sha. You came back like three times...hahah. You got 3 right babe..lol. You go girl.


Here are the answers to the riddles.

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:






Answers:


1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

See it wasn't that hard..lol


I want to send out a few congratulatory message. Here is congratulating sirius again..lol on her wedding. May God bless and keep your marriage. I want to congratulate two of my brothers. One just finished his masters and i am going to texas soon to celebrate with him( yay!..lol). And another one to my other brother who just finished engineering in uniben. I am proud sister, na marriage remain oh( lol that is something they will say to me). I want to congratulate my uncle and his wife for the newest addition in their family. Talking about babies, congratulations also to our very own andrea( hey mama..). Congratulations our very own Naijagirl( nigerian girl perspective), she just finished medical school( E no easy). Myne i didn't forget you oh, congratulation on your interview on Thisday( i see you..lol), you deserve it dear. Hard work really pays off(me i just want to win the lottery, hard work is too hard).
Finally congratulations to myself for.. well being me...lol. (yes it counts)


I saw this somewhere


*************************************************************************************

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow



Hope you guyz are having a wonderful week. See i told you i was going to update more frequently. I am not doing a bad job right..lol. ok bac to studying :)

PS: In case you are wondering, i gave my thank you speech yesterday. I am no obama, but i tried.

Monday, July 12, 2010

OH DEAR

There isn’t a Monday that will not cede its place on Tuesday - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov


Definition: Houdini is someone skilled at escaping. A runaway, escapee, fugitive (lol na wa o, I am not a fugitive though)



Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! I won, I actually won something. Thanks a lot, you make me wanna say O.. O.. O.. Oh my gosh. Congratulations to the winners and the nominees (in my book everybody is a winner jare) Hmm Houdini, it sounds French, Spanish or Russian, but it’s actually English. I am humbled and flattered. Oh my and I did not even prepare a speech *takes an extensive note out of my pocket* lol. Okay I will try and summarize it.




I want to take this opportunity to thank God almighty. He is the author and finisher of our faith; with him all things are possible. I want to thank my mummy and daddy for doing the deed and giving birth to me( haha TMI I know). I want to thank everybody who nominated and voted for me, God bless your hearts and those who didn’t bother to nominate or vote for me. Like biggie will say it’s all Good baby baby. It was all a dream; I used to read blogger’s post, Mr. Naijafineboy cracking me up…. ( okay lemme stop there, I’m not a rapper oh.). To all my followers on blogger and twitter and everybody who has ever commented on my blog, everyone who read my post. If it wasn’t for you guyz who knows what BSNC is? . The other day someone said my name sounded like a radio station..lol. This is BSNC reporting live from 98.3 hot bsnc radio station( doesn’t sound too bad right..lol). Thanks to Myne and Fashinga for campaigning for me( I see you). I guess i have to thank my school and my job for keeping so busy( lol i know, weird right.). If i wasn't so busy, then i wouldn't be nominated for this award. Everything really does happen for a reason lol. Finally thanks to the organizers (especially GNG) for putting this together. I know it must not have been easy, but kudos to you guyz . More grease to your elbows. See I told you I was going to summarize the speech..lol. Thanks again people.





I told myself If I won the most anonymous award, I would tell you guyz more about myself. If I won the drama queen award, I would tell you guyz the most dramatic incident I can remember and If I won the funniest blogger award, I would tell you guyz the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me( lol thank goodness). I never thought I would win the Houdini award. So what do I do now? Okay Iet me see, I will try not being a houdinarian by updating at least 3 to 4 times this week. ( lol now how am I going to do that?)





It’s a riddle. Try and it figure it out; I will give you guyz the answer soon.




1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!




See you guyz soon, fingers crossed ( oh dear). 3 exams this week, Pray for me biko..lol