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Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I have been around blogs villa and I see everybody doing their end of year post, here goes mine. This year has been okay for me, I got into Nursing school( yes nursing school o, I don tell una tire, but some hippopotamus dey always assume say I dey medical school. ogini ), I had my first real job ( noticed the word real, the other jobs I was volunteering) and of course I opened this blog. I must say its one of the best thing I did this year.

When I started the blog, I had no idea what it will be about, thus the name Brownskinaijachic ( una don see blog wey no get title before, well here you go, I like it though J). I started working the month I opened this blog, thus Mr.S, HGF and reggie became part of the blog. From that point, the stories started pouring out, VSNC, Pale( the agbaya), Both my granmas, my dad( I miss him so so much) and my experiences. You guyz are taking a journey into my life. Pretty boring right…lol

I am certain I am going to quit my job, School starts on Monday for me( with that expired exam… yeye people) and I am not the only one working on New Year’s day, so I don’t feel so bad..lol. I was talking to my friend the other day( one of the busybodies that know about my blog, I tire oh) and she said my post has changed recently and she thinks I have lost my blog mojo. I kind of feel the babe sha, I know I don’t want to quit blogger just yet. I enjoy it here too much to do that. 2010 the year of finding my mojo abi..

I know 2010 will be a busy year for me, but I will try to keep in touch with you guyz. I am truly grateful for all the love( yes I know its love, talk true ..lol) you guyz have shown me in this Blogsville. Its really amazing, this blogger is a planet on its own, a whole new world and I am glad I am a part of it. Thanks for all the comments, my followers, dedicated readers, and those who just come to look at bsnc’s picture..lol( you will be surprised, I tell you). I would have loved to give shout outs, but in my 50th post I gave shout outs to almost or over 200 people and people still curse me put. I have learned my lesson biko..

And of course I will try and end the year with my gift of smiles

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?"

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor finished, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor

Thanks Blogsville. I wish you all a fulfilling, prosperous New Year!!

It’s a Wrap Ladies and Gentlemen. See you Next year

Monday, December 28, 2009


The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips,she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her,his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance. He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire.With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided his hands through this tender,often hidden territory, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need. Her senses swam.She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought,"It's too big!.....it will never fit!" Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more.She would want to do it again and again and again.

Because she loves shopping for shoes....

lol yea i got you...











Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Hello Beautiful people, how are you guyz doing. I picked that title because i like the song by black eyed pea. Okay where do i start from now, hmmm let me see umm..... yes my exams. I told you guyz i have exams, guess what those hippopotamus did. I will tell you what they did.... They POSTPONED MY EXAMS TO NEXT YEAR, yes next year. Can you imagine me thinking of an exam next year, how can i enjoy this Christmas . Picture me having a plate of home made jollof rice and tantalizing chicken, and the next thing i think about is oops i have an exam next year, i have a plate of salad and , oops i have an exam next year, i have a ...... yea you guyz get the picture. Everything is going to taste like exams this year (like i know how that taste..).

Guess who worked on Easter day, her birthday.... hold it, hold that thought and who is still working on christmas and new year day. Yes i think you know who, me of course.., funny right. Yes this people refuse to give me one of these day off, just one day ( and they ask me why i want to quit my job, err.... yea that ). Moving on, what have i been up to these past few weeks, umm yea GNG said, and i quote " i guess now that reggie is gone your job is no longer fun that you want to quit". she said she was joking though.( umm... sure GNG..lol). Well my job is far from boring hehe, far from it i tell you. Infact someone else moved in *ahem ahem*

Relax jo, no gist there. Well maybe a little gist, but its not what you have not heard before. Its kind of deja vu, same thing in reggie's case. The difference in this new guyz case is that i don't really have his time( maybe cos i have been really busy) or i am not just into him. i am not saying i was into reggie per say.... anywaysss.. like i said, they is no gist there.

I recently met the resident dude again ( remember him, yea him). Come to find out he is a friend of a friend's boyfriend. If you see this dude's babe, chai blood of Jesus. Lord i know you made everybody in your own image and everyone is beautiful in their own way, but ehn... hmm i don't know sha, maybe most of the time i see her, its kind of dark or maybe i need to see her during the day( and the babe can form too, people ). Compared to the guy's look, the babe... well what is my own inside abi. The guy sees something in her ( dem say one man's meat is another man's poison). Why am i going on about the chic. I met the guy at a friend's get together. He was the first person i recognised when i got to my friend's place. For some strange reason( don't ask me o..lol) i acted like i didn't see.

5 minutes later, someone tapped me on my shoulders. I turned around to the resident dude, and he was like hey don't you remember me. I met you at so so hospital, i looked at him like i was trying to figure out where i have met him before( when i clearly remember me, sometimes i don't understand me...lol). I was like yesssss, i remember you now. You are the guy i met at....... and we went on and on for about 30 minutes. I must have done or said something funny because dude was almost choking on his drink. I saw my friend and this babe coming towards our directions and before i could finish saying hello to my friend, the other babe eyed me, hissed (a very long hiss at that) and took the resident dude away, not even an excuse me or hello. I looked at my friend and she was like that's the resident's babe, i should ignore her because she is just being herself. A few hours later, i saw the resident dude coming towards my direction again.( shuoo this dude no go stay one place, wetin now) I looked around and i saw his girlfriend giving me the dagger look( like i knew). I told my friend i had to go home because i had to go to work the next day( which was true) and i was kind of tired. I took my two left legs and left that party o, sharply ( abeg no be me person wan use practise mike tyson 101)

In a not so related topic, we did this little project in school the other day. Its like a physical examination. We were suppose to examine some part of a patients body ( in this case our fellow student). Everybody paired up with someone and because i was a little bit late, i had to pair up with pale( please don't even let me start with that agbaya). It wasn't a fun activity for me because this agbaya had to touch me during this project. I tolorated him for a while, everything was going on well until we reached the breast examination part. I saw him advancing his hands towards my babies( lol yea my babies), i could see the excitement in his eyes ( see this yeye man)

bsnc: what do you think you are doing, you better control that your hand

pale: bsnc this is part of the project na, don't you want me to learn

bsnc: hmm i am warning you, you better not touch me.

pale: *silence* ( still moving forward)

bsnc: I bought out my pen. pale i swear if you touch me, i will chuk you with this biro.

We were going back and forth until he called our professor on me and she told him to pair up with another guy. She said at this stage, we can pair up with the same gender during intimate examination. Pale gree hear, dude started his sermon and he was blasting vocabulary i never knew exited ( all this one for breast, idiot ). To say the list pale said he was disappointed at me.( in himself that is). I hope i don't have any class with him next semester, i really hope so.

Compliments of the season.

Monday, December 21, 2009


I am with you my love love, with you everything is well well. Your love make my heart go tinga linga ling ( abi is it yori yori lol).Miss Fly, Myne whitman, Gee, Caramel D, shorty, Enkay, My World, Bonnie( l love that song babe, like he was singing it to me hehe), UnderCover07, Repressed One, Ms dufa, Tigeress, seye, trybes, dante, rita, robby. I see you, thanks alot guyz for the concern. i am okay o, thanks to God..

Phew that was intense, to think i still have exams. This people will not kill me o. Moving on, how have you guyz been. I have missed you guyz soooo much, I hope its not too late to apologize, its not too lateeee.. It has been crazy sha. I think i am going to quit my job next year ( make i no go kraze). Alot has been happening at my end.. ALOT!!..( see the amebos ..lol, calm down), its been an interesting couple of weeks.

Wow its been a while sha. I really hope you guyz are good. I am so happy right now, some of my family are already home for christmas and we are expecting more guest. I will be back people :)

Compliments of the season

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Wow it has been a while. Whatz cracking y'all. How are you finding this cold weather, this fall season has stripped down most of the trees. Now they are all butt naked. (poor trees). Okay before some of you crucify me. i can explain, you see what happened was ummm... like you know.... so umm you see... Abeg joh its school o, school is strumming my pains with his fingers... killing me softly with his works, killing me softly... Work is there too o. Its not easy at all, but like lemar says there is not much justice in the world. It is well, but on the real though, it has been a crazy month.

I was sick for like a week. Me who never gets sick, for some strange reason i thought i had the swine flu. Thank God it wasn't the flu, the doctor said i wasn't eating right, i was slightly dehydrated ;as a result, it was easy for me to get sick. His prescription; rest, sleep, and eat well.. like that was going to happen. i had 4 exams back to back that week and 2 papers due. It was hell, but i am better now. Buttercup was checking on me every single day( she is such a sweetheart sha), robby scribbles, dante, trybes and GNG thanks alot for your messages. I told you guyz, American sickness gat nothing on this african blood. Thanks guyz, really...

What have i been up to, lets see hmmm.. Reggie finally left o. Yes he did, i didn't feel anything until a couple minutes to his departure. We just stood there at the door looking at each other, i realised that i am really really going to miss this dude ( yea yea i finally admitted it and i yea said really twice, sue me...lol)

reggie: It was a pleasure getting to know you bsnc, i am going to miss you pretty lady ( yes he said that, you should have seen the way i was blushing, goat...lol). You made my stay worthwhile. (story story..) I wish you all the best in your future endeavours, you deserve it. ( awww i do joh...)

bsnc: likewise, i wish you all the best too. We will miss you.

reggie: who is we, so you are not going to miss me.

bsnc: okay, you will be missed.

reggie: hahaha, gurl why can't you just say what you mean. Forget it, can i get a hug at least.

Before i could give him a reply, he closed the gap between us and took me in his arms. It was... what is the word i am looking for.. wow, yea wow. You know all those stuff you read in the novels, BETTER...lol . (It felt good sha, and we were just hugging o. imagine... imagine.. chai see all of una, spoilt people). Just know that they are hugs and there is reggie's hug. He gave me a peck on my cheek. It took all the will power in me not to do something to him ( i know, too much film...lol). He looked at me like he was going to say something, but he swallowed whatever he was going to say and moved away for me.

reggie: i know you are going to miss me ( he opened the door). Take care lady.

bsnc: yes i am going to miss you a teeny little bit.

reggie: i know...

That was how reggie walked away from my life, i mean the apartment. i mean.. yea you know what i mean jare. I felt his absence within hours, wow i guess i was kind of liking this American boy. Did you guyz know that he was never engaged. I wonder why he made up that story... oh well reggie is gone, he gave me something to blog about and think about too, sometimes sha, okay maybe 4% more than sometimes..

I saw resident briefly, for like a second. I didn't have time to talk to him, so sorry o.. no gist on resident again( no be my fault na abi)..

I am thinking of wearing this MC hammer costume for Halloween, that is if i am still going out. what do you guyz think. pa na na nana can't touch this ......

Thanks for your comments from my last post, i will try to blog more often. I have gist for you guyz, but this dayz... i don't know jare. Hope you guyz are good though.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


See una wan hear gist about resident, resident ko, resident ni...lol. How are you guyz doing. I am suppose to have a group discussion(study group) today,but the bunch of hyenas seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth. The first thing that came to my mind was blogsville(my sugar bananas) and blog i must. I didn't see the resident guy, i have not seen him since that day. Sorry that was a false alarm..lol. I know some of you wanted gist( una too like gist jare....lol) What have you guyz been up to. how has the month been; great, so far so good, same old same old or not too good..... Don't worry you will be okay.

I have have been meaning to gist you guyz about reggie( i hope its not an expired gist now..lol). Reggie is moving out this month or so he says.. Should i be happy or am i happy.. Hmm i don't know. I guess i was kind of getting used to him, maybe i am going to miss him. Just a tiny little bit though. Gosh i went to this Naija independence day party this weekend, it was really nice, but people are funny sha. Okay let me gist you guyz about reggie, no let me gist you guyz about the party. Reggie, the party, reggie, the party....... okay hold up. mi ni mi ni maini mo father has a donkey.....

Mr. S threw a mini-party for HGF in his house. It was okay i suppose, there were about 10 people there including reggie and myself making it 12. There were about 7 females,3 dudes and a little boy. Everybody was drinking and eating, i was doing the eating part sha( those peeps mix some kind drinks wey i no understand, I know myself abeg). A couple of minutes later, someone brought out this little stereo and a few of the guest were having their freek on in the dance floor. One of the babe dragged me to the dance floor ( i am good at most thing, but dancing hmmm no comment), i do what i always do when i am on the dance floor, my one-two step church dance, i move my head,wiggle my butt a little, sometimes it cooperates and moves..lol( yea my butt has a mind of its own, if it doesn't want to move, it wouldn't. im no like gragra at all ). Talking about butt my mum told me recently that my butt is getting bigger oh. what am i suppose to do about it( abi she want make i tug in the yansh, see me see wahala o)

Anywho i was doing my little dance when i felt one of the babe grinding behind me( shuo wetin this hippopotamus dey do behind me). I excused myself and told the babe i had to sit down for a while. I sat down next to reggie, he was laughing. I was like did you see what just happened? what was that all about?.... He went on to tell me that out of the 7 chics there, 6 of them were lesbians( you say what now.. les who, les what....)

bsnc: wait hold up are you trying to tell me.... but what you mean is.... so they are alll... okay i think i get you

reggie: te hehehe. Yes there are, i thought you knew.

bsnc: How am i suppose to know, do i look like a psychic

babe i was dancing with: hey girl, don't you want to dance with me.

bsnc: I am feel kind of tired ( yawnnns)

dancing babe: Are you scared of dancing with me, i am not going to bite you. I am trying to have fun here.( yes i am scared of you oo aaah, na be only bite, abeg take ur fun go one corner biko)

bsnc: I don't really want to dance and besides you know i... i am... i am you know... i am straight. Like i really like boys, a whole lot. I can even begin to describe how much i like guys.

dancing babe: hahaha you are funny, but you know there is always a first time for everything.

reggie: bsnc are you serious. You like boys, i wouldn't have guessed. I thought you like girls.( look at this idiot, this dude is a goat o, big one for that matter.. cute too lol)

bsnc: to dancing babe; thanks but i will pass. .... to reggie; you know you are full of it right.

reggie: if you say you like boys, how do we know. Proof it right here and now.

bsnc: i am not going to proof anything to you. Its either you believe it or you don't.

dancing babe: yea i will like to see this too.

what is wrong with this lunatics. I ignored them for a while, but i was like what the hell. Okay here is your proof (gen gen ). I stood up and danced with the 3 year old boy for a couple of minute and i went back to my seat.

reggie: hahaha wait what was that all about. anybody can dance with a little boy, that right there is nothing.

dancing babe: yes i agree with reggie

What do these people want from me today ehn. I excused myself, went to Mr. S room and told him i have to leave early because i had an emergency at home. He was like okay you can leave.( oh lord you just know my situation sha) I went back to the lunatics and told them i was going to get something from my car. I was gone before they could figure out why i took my bag along with me. The next day at work, reggie was like why did you leave like that yesterday. He went on saying he had this feeling that i was a lesbians, but now he knows for sure i am bi-sexual. I would have argued with him, but what is the point. My grandpa used to tell me there is no point arguing with a mad man because people get confused in the process( who come be the kraze person inside). In this case, reggie is a nut case period.

I just realised undercover07 went to the same naija independence party i was talking about. So i might have seen this babe on saturday sef. I will gist guyz sha.

Take care people and please be good for goodness sake

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Gosh I don’t think I have ever been this busy. It is not any easy something jare ( make person no go kraze..) . How are you guyz doing. Hope you guyz are good because my own case is different, I am soo tred and I still have a lot on my plate. I am leaving everything in God’s hands sha.

Where do I start from now, hmm let me see….. a lot has been happening at my end, school has been demanding, I started clinicals, work has been okay, I have been er…. undefined…. What else hmm yea Nigeria is 49. Happy birthday 9ja.. Yea buttercup told me. She did, I am going to miss you and Chari soo much, your blog was very unique. Thank God I had the opportunity to be your chat buddies before you guyz ran away ( run away couples). Consider yourselves stalked. .lol (that is if I get the time self…)

Yesterday in class our prof was asking us the importance of Red bull ( the drink). People were giving intelligent answers. For some strange reasons, she decided to pick on me. She goes; bsnc what do you think, and what did I say. An educated person like myself. I said Red bull gives you wings. The whole class was roaring with laughter, I was ashamed of myself, kia who says that ehn hissss… I tire for myself jor
They finally changed our French speaking teacher; I should be happy right, NO... My new professor is one of a kind I tell you. This guy relates everything to sex. Like seriously... He is talking about the different forms of cancer, then he goes; you know when you have sexual intercourse….., he is talking about exercising, and he goes; you know the act of sexual intercourse……, he is talking about brain tumor and he goes.. yea you get the picture…. LIKE IS HE FOR REAL. Yea that is my prof, in fairness to him, he is a good teacher. I guess I have to get used to it.

Clinicals was good, that was until some doctors and my instructor almost embarrassed me. How, you say? Well let’s talk about those doctors( abi na nurse.hmm I no no again). Okay when we start for the day, our instructor tells us to go where the nurses or doctors are holding their meetings before the shift starts. There I was, trying to be a good student, jotting down on my note, nodding my head to whatever they were saying, like I knew what there were talking about ( I was lost oo). One of the doctors looked at me and asked me a question, I froze, everything was in slow motion. I know he said something, but all I heard was bleeeeee( you know how people sound when they talk in slow motion in those movies… yes that was what I heard). My mouth was dry all of a sudden, saliva no let me swallow sef, I remembered I have not eaten that morning, I was hungry all of a sudden, headache follow the matter too. I looked at my classmates for motivation; those baboons looked the other way (may God not punish them o). I wanted to impress this people, but I didn’t even know what they were asking. I said the first thing that came to my mind. I was like “excuse me I have to go pee” and those idiots (my classmates) were laughing. ( I don’t blame them at all) . That was how I left them sha.

During our break, I was kind of angry with my classmates, so I refuse to sit down with them. I was sitting by myself, drinking my apple juice when this guy sat next to me. We talked for a while, he said he was a resident there, he is a Nigerian and he heard when I told the doctor I was going to pee (of all the things, na that one im hear oo yeye boy lol). He said my words kept on replaying in his head and he was laughing all day. What was so funny about been embarrassed, ehn….. I noticed someone coming towards our direction, It was my instructor. She sat down next to me and she was like bsnc you don’t have time for all this now, you should be sitting with your classmates. She turned to the boy( come to think of it, I don’t even know his name sef) and she was like you are a resident here, you don’t have time or money to spend on her. You guyz should focus on what you came here to do. After her seminar or what ever she calls it, she took me to the other table with my classmates. I was too surprised to say anything o( shuo una don see this kind thing b4, wetin concern carrot and dodo).

I will gist you guyz about work another time jor. I will try and make my blog rounds, I know I have missed a lot. I wish I could blog more often, but you guyz know everything now. Besides i seem to be depressing most people this dayz...lol. Blame it on life. I just tire, Body no be fire wood o. Mehh this flu shot is making me sick o( who send me message), I thought this flu shot was suppose to prevent the flu not the other way round. Happy new month y’all.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Its all good. Shubby doo, juiceegal, bubbles and danny bagucci thanks alot guyz. I am sorry you guyz had to see that post. I was really down, but after letting it all out I feel so much better :)

Hey blogsville. How are you guyz doing. Just stopping by to say hi..lol. I will be back :)

Hope you guyz are good.

leggy moved, her new url is leggymoved.blogspot.com . biko update your blogroll..

Monday, September 7, 2009


a whole full week, I didn't blog.. kai the devil is liar ooo. Its not my fault, i have been pretty busy and i have 83 blogs to meet up with. Yes 83 . ( wetin.. are you guyz on blogging steroids). How have you guyz been. My sugar bananas, my sweet potatoes, my boo boo hoo hoo. I just tire jor, work has been krazy, HGF is misbehaving again o, reggie is okay, we are talking again. He told me he is having problem with his babe. ( sooo i should be jumping abi.. hissss). I will gist you guyz later jare..

Strange things has been happening in my crib. Everybody seems to be on a diet, i really don't understand because nobody is overweight. Vsnc lepa finish, my brother has be hitting the gym like its about to go out of style ( wetin 6 packs never do), okay my mum is kind of big, but she is tall now. she is about 6"1..... okay why am i telling you guyz all this (wait now make i land).

I work weekends, so vsnc cooks during the weekend. I got back from work on saturday( 12 hrs o.. that is 1, 2,3.... yes 12, ok ). I was tired, so so hungry, and i think nightrider( my car) was misbehaving too. Nightrider is trying me sha.. anyways i opened the refrigerator, diet coke, diet pepsi, diet sprite... I was like okay let me find something to eat and what did vsnc cook( will i consider that coooking sef). What did she cook abi make... Salad, not just any salad o. The one with what do they even call the leave sef... er er... lettuce. yes lettuce, that thing was covered with lettuce o. no tomatoes, egg, cucumber.... Do i look like a GOAT (wetin bring grass food na). I was angry o, i don't joke with my food jor. ( abi you never hear, a hungry man is an angry man) I slept like that. Went to work the next day still tired, HGF was misyarning about...... i don't know even know what the hyena was talking about sef ( someone should warn her oo). Got back home, the same salad. I took my keys and jejejely drove down to one panda express (chinese)close by. Their plan to turn me into goat would not work ( lia lia). I think i lost 10 pounds this weekend.

I have one of the worst teachers this semester. I could swear this guy is speaking french in class, and this course is not easy o. Imagine me not understanding the guy's accents( he is african too), Oyinbos for my class confuse. I pity for them sha.. See i said this post will not be long o. Don't mind me. I guess i can say i have the worst week ever. Hope yours was better. I know its kind of late,but Happy new month people.

83 blogs kai. Lord you are my strength.. Our father who art in heaven, hallow be thy name.......


A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, I'm yours.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing a skimpy running outfit, running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, I'm yours.' Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program 'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.' 'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.' The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.' He lost 63 pounds that week.

PS It will not be easy, but i will try and stop by.

PSS: Anonymous i see you o. Abeg let me be biko, i no get your time at all..

Monday, August 31, 2009


Hey beautiful people. How are you guyz doing? It will be a new month very soon, so happy September in advance, wish you guyz all the best with school, work, relationship, marriages, children, man wahala…… wow see comments, thanks a lot guyz. I know I have said this too many times, but still you guyz are wonderful.

Yes I won the lottery. When I saw the numbers yesterday I could not believe my luck. What am I going to do with that amount of money? I am still thinking about it. I am going to use it on.. no I will use it on.. Even though its just two dollars I won..lol. Yes I said it, 2 dollars, don’t look at me like that jo, you don win lottery before hiss. My second time playing this lottery thing. Who knows *keeping my fingers crossed*

Reggie is still not talking to me. I refuse to apologies (wetin I do sef). The only thing he said to be is your hair looks nice ( yea I did this superfly hair , check me out na…lol no mind me o) that was it. Oh well the earth does not revolve around you, reggie, hope he realizes that soon.

I was left with Mr. S all week. Here I was with Mr. S bored stiff, staring at the ceiling for what seems like centuries. He was kind of moody, don’t want to watch TV, don’t want to play game, and don’t even want to talk and that stupid time was taking forever to reach one full minute, just one minute. If this guy thinks he will suck me in that mood, he has another thing coming for him. I moved the door with my legs, he looked at me. He was like bsnc did you see that. See what I said (I think say u no wan talk b4 hisss). The door, the door just moved. I was like really (this could be fun, let me play with this guy’s head a little..lol). I looked at the door, Mr.S are you sure you saw it move. He was like never mind. The second time I moved the door forcefully, the guy almost jumped out from the bed. I heard a loud farting sound afterwards (he almost killed me with that toxic poison o, the thing was stinking gawwwd, no be me dey find trouble) He was like bsnc I know you saw that, I tried to control myself, but the look on his face was too funny( I cover my mouth laff o, before bad thing enter my mouth). I told him I was just messing with him, at least he loosened up a little. I checked him afterward and found out this guy did some serious number 2. I literally scared the shit OUT of the guy.

Mr. S asked me if I liked scary movie. I was like its okay. We watched 3 scary movie together ( the guy get time sha, I tell you )and he was surprised I didn’t scream in any of them. He was like are you not scared of these movies. I told him American movies don’t scare me this dayz. The only American movie that really scared me was NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, but I was still really young then. I told him the movies they make nowadays are just plain disgusting, not scary per say. He asked me about my scariest movie. Here is what I told him…

I must have been 8 or 9. My dad was not in town; my mum got back from work and went straight to bed. I remember it was a school night (yea they force us to sleep early too). I was watching this movie with vsnc, my brothers and a couple of my cousins who were staying over. I can’t remember the name of the movie now, but it was scaaaary. ( afraid dey catch me..lol). No it wasn’t LIVING IN BONDAGE, but that was another scary movie sha. Anytime I hear the door move, I check if there is any ghost( like say I for sittam dey look spirit) I was even scared of my own shadow, you don see that kind thing before. Ehen to the movie jare . I was so scared of this home video, but my brothers were there now, so I dey form hard babe. They showed a part in the movie where the chic appeared from nowhere, I put my head behind one of my brothers back ( tell me why am I tormenting myself to watch film…). The way my bro jumped ehn, my other brodas were like ahn ahn you dey fear naija film again. He was like no now, bsnc just scared me a little.

I wanted to go to my room, but vsnc refused to follow me. I beg this babe tire, she no gree( na so the fear catch me). My brother told me to bring water from the kitchen. I was like who, me.. lai lai, there is no way I am leaving the parlour o ( ehn make the thing come appear for kitchen). He was bsnc I said go and bring water for me. I looked at him like he was on mute ( ehn this one no be seniority matter o). When the guy talk tire, im rest now. Nobody left that parlour the whole time. ( na small bsnc go come leave hisss) The unexpected happen, NEPA took light o.. Yes NEPA must do their thing, for a moment everything was quiet, a minute later I heard footstep of people running, chair and table crashing. Ehen so this people wan leave me here alone. I pick race too. I don’t even know how I got to my room sef. Can you imagine agbayas like my brothers leaving me and my sis in that parlour like that. 5 minutes later the light came back, I swear nobody moved at inch from their room. I could hear the TV sound ( who get mind to go off TV now).

The next morning my mum was asking us who left the TV on. I saw one of my brothers the next morning. I was like shuoo so you didn’t off the TV. He was like he was so tired and his head was aching him (your head is aching you alright..lol). The next day I went to school and you would not believe nobody finish that movie. NEPA did their thing the same time and I guess everybody was too scared to finish the movie. I know if I see the movie now I will laugh about it, the way I laugh about willy willy. I saw it not too long ago, its just wan agbaya with bedsheet vanishing like a lunatic…

Have a wonderful week guyz and month too

PS: I would not be blogging as much, but I will stop here every once in a while. You know school and its palaver

PSS: abeg you guyz should help me beg bibi now. It was a slip of typing.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Wow i can't believe it. Its my 50th post, yes it is... yes it is. I saw most peeps doing their 50th, i was like don't worry i will get there soon and now i am here YAY!!!. Its not just my 50th post, its been aproximately 6 months i touched down Blogs Villa, thus the name HALF & HALF..

I remember my first post, Afrobabe was the first ever to disvirgin my blog...lol. ( her words) . I went to her blog, i remember my aunt was at my house that day and she said, bsnc is it not early to be looking at those pictures...lol. i opened my mouth, closed them, opened my mouth again.. nothing came out, i didn't know what to tell her now. I just smiled. My first follower ever was roc naija. I remember going to his blog too and i was like shuoo, all this blogsville people sef...lol. I was still strolling through blogsville when i saw temite, bumight and CLG struggling to be first all the time. I was like what is the big deal with this first thing sef, then i was first on someone's blog and it felt good oo...lol.( i ll not lie) if you see the way i screamed eh ( on the blog that is..lol). I also remember going to buttercup's blog, for some reason i didn't know it was hers and chari's blog. I think i left several comments that was meant for buttercup, chari was kind of confused.. I had to read the heading of their blog again. i felt so stupid..lol

Now i have over 10 comments on each post, over 70 followers {thx alot :)}, a couple of chat buddies i love to chat with, i really do. I have learnt alot from blogsville and i hope to learn more. I enjoy reading your stories, poem, rants, jokes, comments.... I have shared alot with you guyz, like my own special dairy. I never knew i could write anything concerning poetry, now i am motivated by you guyz. I am glad i am a member of this group, i don't know how to thank you guyz enough. I am indeed grateful. Sometimes VSNC will say bsnc you will die on top this blogger o...lol, the babe no understand jo. I hope to continue this journey, read more blogs, discover new bloggers, learn more and hopefully put a smile in at least one person's face...

This one is for you blogsville. You guyz are too much.. CHEERS.

*celebration plays in the background*

black rubies
bob ij
blowing blessing your way xoxo
cuppucine baby
danny bagucci
dee brighton
frankie rose
fumns the rebirth
fancy me free
freddie girl
girl with the red hair
God among us
gourmet truffle
just toluwa
just doyin
kenn knotty
london diva
lady X
ms O
mister jaycee
miss odukoya
miss natural
miss fly high
miss fab
miss lowlah
miss love
miss subrosa
ms dufa
my world
miz- cynic
naughty eye
nice anon
nigerian fetish
omo tee
omo oba
one + the one
original mgbeke
optimistic alyzz
pink satin
red cherrie
repressed one
robby scribbles
sex kitten
scarlet boy
shubby doo
spicy tee
spicy cafe
sugar king
soul boutique
sassy trends
the girl with the red hair
tis all about me
the source
taiofierce ameen
unguarded heart
what nigerian women want
white freak
BIBI abeg no vex oo.
anonymous (happy....lol)

PS: Abeg if your name is not up there no vex, i take God beg you. At least those cake will go round..lol

PSS: i know i just broke the rules by avoiding those questions...lol. :)

Have a nice week..


Hey people. wataquain, whatz is popping ina me yard. Me write another poem ya know... okay enough of that..lol . So this is my second peom and its a continuation of my first poem( i dunno how to put link jo). Before you guyz start telling me to look for the key under my bed or iniside an unknown cave like my first poem. Its just a poem ooo( i think). Please tell me what you think... yes the title sophomore poem...lol. couldn't think of a title...

I took out the padlock and placed my hand on the door knob
I was hesitant at first, I opened the door and peeped through
Sitting there on the porch(veranda..lol) was love
He was the most beautiful thing i had seen in a while
flawless skin, captivating looks and charming aura.....
I know they say all that glitters is not gold
This gold could glitter all it wants.
Because i am past caring
I felt in love with love, he was everything i imagined and more
I was in a fantasy land, the land of wonders
lurking in the shadows was heart break
But i didn't pay heed, this love is blind indeed
In a blink of an eye heart break overpowered love
It happened so fast i didn't see it coming.
Loneliness and pain crept in from the window
I never allowed them in
Now all i am left with is loneliness, pain and heartbreak
Despite all this i still believe in love


A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher tells him to go down to the principal's office, to phone his mom, and ask her what he should do about it. He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom" she says. "I did" he says. "She told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

Have a beautiful day :)

Monday, August 24, 2009


I came back from work, i was so tired but my aunt was doing this little get together. I have to be there to help in any way i can. There i was looking kind of nice if i must say so myself ( yes oh mo gbono feli feli....lol). I was talking to this guy who was bursting my head with his lyric( or so he thinks). I heard this thick ibo accent, i was so such i have heard it somewhere before. I turned to the direction of this voice. It was none other than pale....lol. Yes i thought i was imagining things, how did he know my aunt and it was a small get together. Of all the people in the world i have to see..

Pale was sitting beside my aunt's husband, they were really preocuppied in what ever they were discussing because he didn't see me pass. I said hello to my aunt's husband and look directly into pale's eyes. He was telling my aunt's hubby, who is this fine young lady. ( eh did i hear this man correctly, did he just say what i thought he said). I heard my aunt's hubby saying, she is my wife's niece, you know the xx daughter. Pale was like ohh i see. ( yes you see alright hiss)I was confused o, did i dream about the whole summer. I was like are you not Mr. pale... my aunt's hubby was like do you know him. I told him, i thought i did. ( maybe it was someone that looks like him)

I went downstairs, played a little game with my cousins, while i was going back upstair i met pale by the stairway. I was walking pass him when he called my name. I knew it.. i know i was not going crazy, so this baboon knows me after all. I was like pale i said hello to you and you ignored me. He was like you see bsnc, i didn't know this was your aunt's place and my wife is around. I was like so.. He said i wouldn't understand( i didn't want to even understand sef.... yeye man ). He was like bsnc you are looking good today maybe that was why i couldn't recognize you before. (the man think say i get time) I took a step forward, he was like bsnc i am talking to you now. why didn't you pick up my calls eh, your friend gave me your number ( that stupid girl). I picked up his call once thinking it was somebody else, only to find out it was the big head calling. He was like have you changed your mind yet, i am still considering you o...( abeg someone should tell me what this man is considering me for biko, i wish i could speak ibo maybe he might understand better)

I told him plain and simple if he as much as call my phone or talk to me about anything other than school, i will report him to my aunt's who will give me his wife's number. He was like all this small girls of nowadays, you think you are bold. you don't understand i will..... my aunt walked . She was like bsnc where have you been, i need you to help me with something. pale walked away as she was talking to me. My aunt was like ehen bsnc what were you doing talking to that man. He is a woman wrapper, he goes about chasing young girls. His wife is tired of complaining. I told my aunt about my incident with pale and we had a good laugh.

I helped my aunt to clean a little. when i went back to the parlour pale was nowhere to be found. I relaxed and try to enjoy myself even though i was really tired. Did i mention that my aunt is a good cook, i think i gained an extra 5 pounds that night. Since that night pale has not called me since, hopefully he leaves me alone.. for good this time around.


There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl but she was never home and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return any letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls and letters and e-mails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So what she did was this: She took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone." Well needless to say, this guy was heartbroken, but even more so, he was pissed. So what he did next was awesome: He wrote on the back of the photo the following: "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and then mailed the picture to her parents.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


Wow what a week. I can’t believe how fast this year has been, a couple of blinks and its September.( na wa o, just like that). Hello fellow citizens of blogs villa. How una dey. Hope you guyz are good.

I got to work on Friday. I opened the door gently hoping to see reggie and his hot bod, but there was no one there. I don’t know if I was relieved or bothered. I checked around to make sure he wasn’t home (coast clear). I breathe a sigh of relief (ok so I guess I was relief or was i…lol). I went to Mr S room and I asked about his cousin, he said his cousin went to see pick up some things and he was like why are you asking. I was like nothing, am just asking( na wa o person no fit ask simple question again…) and he was like okay bsnc… oookay ( I don’t know what was so funny o hiss)

2 hours later no show. Okay I wasn’t looking at the time every hour, I just happen to know 2 hours has passed, you know I was just… abeg let me be jo..lol. Mr. S was sleeping and I was sooo bored, I forget to bring my novel. I was by myself in the other room for 30 minutes. I put my head on the table, I think I was about to sleep when I had the door up. I didn’t have to look, I knew it was him. I heard him coming towards my direction, I felt him staring at me. He called my name twice, no answer. For about 2 minutes I didn’t hear any sound. I gently raised my head to check if he was still in the parlor. There he was looking all hunky with a big grin on his face. He was like I know you were not sleeping, I could tell from your pattern of breathing, you were trying to be smart….( pattern of breathing ke, hmmmm)

He bought me lunch; I told him I wasn’t hungry. He said it was either I eat the food or I give him my digit ( for im mind he dey feel like one sharp guy o, na today…lol). I was like fair enough. I was about to eat when he said let us make it official, he actually prayed before we ate (l was shocked o, I have not seen anybody do that in a while) I ate the food which turned out to be delicious (chicken wrap or something like that) we talked for a while and for the most part all I could think of was how cute he was, I don see this guy tire before, me no understand again abi is he using voodoo on me, person no dey know finish na. I was so engrossed in our conversation, I didn’t hear Mr. S calling me ( wahala dey o…lol)

Mr. S was so angry with me. I have been calling you since, where have you been. I was like I was with reggie in the other room. He was like reggie again, what is it with you and reggie. You should be careful with him B, I know him too well. I don’t want you to fall into his plot. I was like don’t worry about me, I’m a big girl.. I can take care of myself. Mr. S was like I am telling you as a friend ( shuo which levels with all the warning now, is not like I want to marry the guy).

I finished with Mr. S and went to meet reggie in the other room. He was like what did my cousin say. I was like he told me you are the devil, and I should stay away from you. Reggie was like I knew he was going to say something sooner or later, I really mean no harm I just like your company. I was like reggie I am not suppose to be talking to you. He was like is that what you want, I didn’t answer; cool I will stay out of your way. ( I was honestly joking oh). He walked away to his room; he ignored me through out that day and all through the weekend. I kind of felt guilty, but I have a big ego (such a huge ego…lol) I refused to apologize. I know I will apologize eventually sha, hopefully he will be in a better mood next week…

PS: guess who I saw over the weekend…lol. Don’t worry I will gist you guyz.


I am filling in the attendance roll, I am present oh. Happy Sunday people. I have been trying to keep up, but seems everybody is on an updating marathon. Hope you guyz are good sha. I finally slept on day three that is after my mum gave me like 6 tablets( over dose o), my aunt gave me something to drink( now I know its not poison), vsnc convinced me to exercise for 30 minutes and the icing of the cake my brother gave me a glass of one kind wine( sweet, but it did its job). I was knocked out for 15 hours. At least I have been having a goodnight sleep. Okay I am running late for work already. I have gist for you guyz on the morrow…

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix!" The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said "I told you to watch out for the houses! All right, let's go up there, apologise and see how much this is going to cost." They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied. "No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me! I'm allowed to grant three wishes, and I'll give you each one wish and keep the last one for myself." "Wow, great!" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life!" "No problem. It's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife. "I want a house in every country of the world!" she said. "Consider it done!" the genie replied. "And what's your wish genie?" the husband asked. "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife." The husband looked at the wife and said "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses honey. I guess I don't care." The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. Afterwards, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said "How old is your husband anyway?" "35." she replied. "And he still believes in genies...that's amazing!"

Have a nice day

Monday, August 17, 2009


I know this my sleep wahala is getting old, but this is day three oh.. DAY THREE( its not my fault now). I didn't want to take meds before, i don't like drugs for anything. I don't think i have a choice now. I have been even praying for tse tse fly to bite me sef (yes its that serious). Meanwhile vsnc has been on a sleeping spree, taking naps every now and then and still.. she has a good night sleep. I am so tempted to wake her up, just for the hell of it....

I have gist for you guyz oh. Guess who moved in to Mr. sean's house. None other than..... wait for it, wait for it.... His cousin, yes the same cousin the LL cool J lips licking cousin, the one that torments me whenever he comes by. Okay i know there are a couple of new bloggers, so let me try and keep you up to date. Mr. Sean is the guy i work for ( my patient), he has this cousin who i nicked name LL cool J-ips-licking cousin because he licks he lips all the time. He thinks he is the cutess thing since slice bread, so i am suppose to fall head over heels in love with him. ummm... like that will happen

I decided to nick name him reggie bush now because he kind of reminds me of him besides the other name will take forever to type. I came to work on friday, took the keys and opened the door, standing in the middle of the parlour reading a magazine with this small towel around his waist( more like a paper towel) looking like a model in the cover of sport illustrated. The guy has a hot body sha, i will give him that( not that i am tripping or anything, i am just appreciating God's creation and it is beautiful in my sight..lol). The towel looked like it was about to drop any minute. I used one hand to close my eyes and i was like hey reggie. He was like hey B why are you closing your eyes, you know i have something on right. Yes, but please can you go put on some clothes or something. he was like I am about to go take shower any second, i am just looking through this mag.. a moment later he looked away from the mag and was like ,so what if the towel drops, what are you going to do about it ( the dude think say i get im time hisss). He had this stupid smile on his face. Nah ah, i am not about to play that game with you.. I walked pass him to Mr. sean's room..

Hey Mr. sean i just saw your cousin in the other room, so he spent the night here? Mr. sean was like he moved him 2 days ago, he has some personal things to deal with. he needs a place to crash for a while. Mr. sean are you serious your cousin is going to be staying here with you. He was like i don't understand, what do you mean. You very much know what i mean, you know how your cousin gets with me.( you see this mr. sean na wayo man oh, he knows exactly what i mean). Oh just ignore him, don't let him get to you. he is just messing around with you, yea so easy for you to say.

I didn't see him through out that day. I was happy, so he leaves the house in the morning and comes back when i am done for the day (ahhhhh life is beautiful again...lol). The next day i was doing an assignmen, mr. sean's babe(HGF) was around, so she was keeping him occupied. Reggie came back from where ever he went to the day before. He was like hey B what are you up to, i see my cousin has company. I am trying to do an assignment. Oh really, do you need help, you know my mum is a nurse too ( in a normal day i will argue o, but the thing take style hard). I was like okay why not. He stood there reading the book for about 4 minutes, then he pulled a chair and sat down. 10 minutes later, dude was still reading the book oo. I was like don't worry i c...... He was like shhhhhh ( how can this guy shhhh me, i just bone sha after all he is helping me now). 25 minutes later, i was about to take my book from him when he turned around and explained everything to me step by step. I must confess i was impressed.

Wow who would have thought. He was like what do you mean. I am just surprised that's all. He went on to tell me how he is a masters holder and he is about to get his PhD yada yada yada. I was like thank you very much for your help. He was like why do you hate me, did i do something to you. Did i ever say i hated you. I dunno, most girls warm up to me. I was like you said it yourself most, i must be among the few that doesn't what a life we live in.(abi wetin im wan make i do now). Then, he was like you know i was just messing with you all those times i talk to you. I have a serious girl friend who i am about to be engaged to ( oya clap for yourself, you try). We talked for a while about school, music and several other things. He asked me for my digit, i gave him a blank stare. He was like no biggie, at least i get to see you every weekend... that's enough to put a smile on a guy's face ( stupid me, i open my 32 and i was laughing with him). Well I guess he is not that bad after all or so i think..

PS: i just found out that my cousin has a blog. He is tight with a fellow blogger, he has been looking for me all over blogsville..lol. All he has to do is read about vsnc and our granms, he ll figure out who i am..( mehh that will be the day)

PSS: Guess who left a voice message on my phone, Pale, remember that old ibo man from my other post. who gave this man my number now eh.. hisss. i don't like this new development oh , walai talai.....(wahala dey)

PSSS: You need to check this link when you are chanced and pls tell me what you think about it

Friday, August 14, 2009


Hey people, remember the interview i told you about. Yes so i was interviewed by the wonderful juiceegal. You guyz better check it out or else..... okay nothing....lol . Ehen you see that baboon they call sleep, he decided to disturb me at my job( to think i was waiting all night for the bastard) If you see the battle ehn, i was pratically a zombee today oh..

This is the link to the interview. click here

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Hello beautiful people. Thanks for the comments, I am glad you guyz liked my poem, my head is about to pop oh...lol. Thank you very plenty. So, i have been trying to sleep for the past two hours, but the sleep is just misbehaving and i have to go to work tomorrow or today sef ( 12 hours shift). Sleep you better behave yourself, i am not finding this funny at all.

Anyways i saw this video somewhere and i though it was kind of funny. All the facebook citizens can totally relate to it( i think).

Another one to brighten up your day..


I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor. "Has she started to neglect you?" "Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, she keeps the kids out of my hair. She lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to kinky sex or says she has a headache." "So what's the problem?" "Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, "but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, 'Die! You son of a bitch, die!

Have a wonderful weekend people. Okay i am off to bed, sleep is me and you today.

P.S: l will be doing an interview on blogsville gist later on today. Hope you guys check it out :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Okay this is something new for me. I wanted to see if i could do this. Abeg i take God beg you, don't laff at me oo. PHEW!! here it goes my first real poem.

crush knocked on my door
he was the first who came knocking
i allowed him in without hesitation
he moved in with his family
they come and go as they please
fantasy knocked on my door
i opened my door to him
he gave me an illusion
my imagination grew wide
of things i know will never come through
lust knocked on my door
i motioned him in
he gave me some sleepless night
i tossed and turn those night
still, this were part of my imagination
love knocked on my door
i used the biggest paddlock i could find
i really want to let him, but i can't
he is still outside, patiently knocking
will i ever open that door, only time will tell

There you have it people my virgin poem. hope its not that bad.

I saw this joke somewhere. Enjoy!!

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!" While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?" The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says. "I was behind you in McDonald's!"

Monday, August 10, 2009


Hello beautiful people. Hope you guyz had a wonderful week, I was working through out the weekend as usual. My granma, the mother of my mum. She has gone back to the motherland. As much as I wanted to see her go, I miss her company already. That is one funny lady, even though she tormented me whenever she had the chance…lol. She gave me some great advice just when I needed them. She is an amazing person, but she no gree old o. If you saw the jeans she brought before she left. Hmmm nuff said..lol. I rest my case. She said she doesn’t know about me, but she is still having her groove on. She and my mum I no know who like enjoyment pass. Those babes love life o. I guess my ma is truly the daughter of her mother.

Anyways to the gist of today, of course its bout me G. mama. Okay so my mum brought a new couch abi na sofa, anyone jare. She brought this new cream colored couch, it was really cute and all, but if you ask me, I really don’t think she needs it, but you didn’t ask so I will be quiet. My ma has been going on and on about the couch for sometime, she finally brought it. The next day my grams told us it will be her permanent chair until she leaves. The funny thing is that the chair could contain two people. My mum wasn’t happy sha, but we were like okay mama whatever you want, abi she is the guest now.

My cousin came to spend the weekend with us. He was watching a movie the night before and I guessed he slept off on that same couch. The next morning, he received two hot slaps for my grams( you know how those morning slaps can pain..lol). Kpai! Kpaaai!. Get out from my chair my friend. My cousin was like ooooooo mama why now. There other chairs na. If you don’t leave that chair this minute I will slap you again. My cousin heard slap and he got up in an instant. My cousin went upstairs grumbling under his breath. Me and vsnc was cracking up, I know we should have told him, but we forgot. Within seconds my grams was complaining, she said the couch smelled of unwatched body. Still she didn’t leave the chair o.

A few days later, my dad’s friend came to see us. He was coming to check on us and see how we were holding up, you know after….. yea. He sat down on my grams chair, he said he didn’t remember seeing the sofa the last time he came. He thought the sofa was nice. Of course my grams came downstairs a couple of minutes later, the way she looked at the guy I thought she was going to choke him or something. My mum gave her the mama-behave-yourself-and sit-down-in another-chair-just-this-once-look. The guy said his greetings and my grams waved him off without making eye contact.

The guy having stayed for a while was ready to leave. He got up from the chair and was saying his goodbyes to us when my grams screamed in a high-pitched voice. I wouldn’t lie to you I was scared o, I thought she was having an attack or something of that nature. You see wetin this yeye man do, you see. We were like what mama, we don’t understand. Oh my God you see wetin you do, the man was as confused as we were. We all looked at what she was pointing at and lo and behold, there was this big black stain( it was like the map of Africa) by the head of the sofa. We were still wondering how it got there, my grams was going on and on. I no understand why person go dye im hair. Even if you wan dye your hair, do am with better dye. Shey you don stain am now, you go rest now abi. New chair for that matter. I didn’t want to laff o, but when vsnc burst out laffing, I had to excuse my self. My mum said the man was speechless, he was too embarrassed to say anything. I love my grams, but she was too hard on the guy. Its not like he did it on purpose now. Yea that’s me G.mama, the love of our lives.

Have a wonderful week

Friday, August 7, 2009


AWWWW thanks for all the love guyz. I feel so special, so special so special…lol. Thanks for making all that noise, you all are far to kind. I don’t think you guyz are beautiful, I think you are beyond it. I wish I could hug everyone in blogsville. I like you guyz and you like me too…lol ( my remix of every girl)10thx

The summer has been one of kind. I say its raining man, but in this case its raining pale..lol( Old man). First day of class I met two Nigerian ladies who figured out I was Nigerian too for that reason they wanted to be my best friend( me sef tire, but I don’t mind now. After they are my people). I met this old man through them who happens to be igbo. The guy saw and he started rapping igbo. I was like I am not igbo o, the guy gree hear. When he rap im lingo finish the guy see say I no reply, na the guy chill.

The guy okay let me call him pale. Pale says he wants to buy me and the other two chics lunch. Normally, I will say I am good, but when we don do some kind conk nursing ehn. Me no mind o because this babe was hungry sha and for the kind recession period its not really common.

For three day straight pale was buying us lunch. He told us about his wife and how he was a big man in naija, but when he entered yankee he was like a nobody.( lol that is not news to me. Na today). After lunch pale says he wants me to explain one topic for him. Okay fine now no problem, but I was suspecting this guy sha. Why did he not tell the other chics to come. As I don chop small of im money belleful( which was his idea o), it’s the least I can do now abi.

There I was explaining a clinical procedure for him. Pale was like bsnc do you have a boyfriend. I just continue like say I no hear. Did I forget to mention he has a deep, thick ibo accent. Baby I say you get man.( who Is your baby, look at this old man o). Yes I am engaged to this guy in naija. E no mean anything, I have a wife too. I was like Mr. pale, do you want me to explain this thing or what. Pale was like I know all this thing, my wife is a nurse. I just wanted to get you alone with me since you are always with those girls.( for im mind im be sharp man o. hisss)

Pales goes on saying he is a chief in his village and he is entitled to have more than one wife. The guy say im want make I be im side kick( that is what they call it now adays o. chai woman don suffer sha). I was like side wetin, I don’t understand o. He was all this gals wey dey form innocent like dem no no anything, meanwhile na una spoil pass ( you see as this man dey take style insult me). He says if I am a good side kick he will marry me afterwards. I was like excuse me sir, I am not interested. Pale, I mean Chief pale was angry o. I have told you times without number. Stop calling me sir, I don’t like this kind of thing. Call me by my name. I told I could not.

Chief pale says I have just missed a big opportunity. He was ready to spend money on me. He says most girls will take the opportunity with both hands ( as I don become charity case now. Useless man). When he left, one of the girls came over and she was like I messed up big time. She says if she was in my shoes, she will use the man( see me see craze people, ehen carry on now. Who is stopping you) . The next day I greet chief, the guy bone me like I was invincible. He took the other girls to lunch. At least the guy free me.

One week later, chief pale come again. Bsnc this is your last chance. I am giving you another chance. Have you changed your mind? (. Na the fear of God in me no make me do something to this man). I was like thank you very much sir, but I am not interested. Chief says I don’t know what I am missing. Abeg someone should tell me what I am missing o, wetin I wan do with this old agbaya. I saw him with the other chic on several occasions after that, only God know if they were reading together or using their self. Frankly I don’t really care. That was how my summer started….

PS: ignore the typos i am already late for work..lol

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I KNOW, I KNOW.......

PHEW!!!!!!!!! That was intense, lord have mercy. I don't know where i got all my strength from. At least i can rest a little....

My angels, how have you guyz been. I missed you guyz o. You guyz missed me a little abi, a tiny bit, tinkele, at least small now, ahn ahn...lol. I have gist for you guyz o as in tory, chill now.. be patient. Its good to be back. i have to go make my rounds and see what you guyz have been up to.

YAY!!!! BSNC has entered the building and i ain't going nowhere....

Monday, June 29, 2009


Hello beautiful people. How are you guyz doing, i know its been a rough week. M.J, the charlie angel chic and the kaboom guy( he does oxy clean ad too). Micheal the only artist that shout woooooo hooooo, yeeea yeea, heee eee,shummo gal, go on gal, you just have to love him mehh... May their soul rest in peace. I was talking to one of my cousin yesterday. He was like i want to be there with dem M.J, 2pac, biggie,big pun......... bsnc can you imagine the groove for that side.... olodo shey you wan follow them die now hissss( i didn't tell him that o). People go just dey talk anyhow.

My brother just found out i have a blog, the same one that used to read my text messages when i was younger, the same one that answers my phone and pretends he was me, the same one that...... (abeg the list too long). How did he find out i dunno, but i am not surprised. I was washing nightrider(my car) the other day and he was like brownskinaijachic how far now. I was like eh what did you just call me. He was like forget that one jare, hope you tell dem babes how cute your broda is. I was like before nko...lol. Like i will do that hiss...lol. abeg commot for road.(i hope he is not reading this o, the guy will fry me)

To the main gist of today. Yes you guessed right Mr. Sean and my granms again. Okay let me start with Mr. Sean.Before i start, I was in my room, almost cloth less. why because heat wan kill me o. VSNC( my sis) refuse to on AC because she is the one paying that particular bill. You can imagine how hot it was. the next day it was six degrees higher. I went to work and Mr. Sean decided to lock all the windows in the house, no AC or anything because he was cold. Like seriously, is this guy for real.

2 hours later, we were talking about something. I can't remember what exactly because i was tripping with sweat, i could not really understand what he was saying. You know you are pouring with sweat when your hair is damp against your face and your cloth is kind of sticking to your body. When he noticed that i wasn't responding to his questions, he was like bsnc are you okay... You don't look so good. In my head i was like shebi when i faint you will really know i am not fine. The next thing i did was even surprising to me.

I didn't even say anything to him. I took a chair from the parlour, took his fan close to me, turned it on to the highest, remove it from spin( u know those fan that turns now), i made the fan face me directly and i was like Mr. Sean i need this break, please just 5 minutes. unless you want me to walk around shirtless.(make person no go pass out) The guy was speechless for about a minute, then he was laughing. do i need to say i didn't find it funny. bsnc you would have said something. I was like but you are cold and i didn't want you to get ill. The guy allowed me to rest for another 15 minutes, God bless his heart. It would have been another story today o.

My granms just came from naija, two days later she says she wants to call my uncle in naija. I gave her phone card to call, she no gree take... she says she wants to use her own phone. I was like mama you can't use that phone to call, she kept on arguing with me. when i tire to explain, i left her and walked away. Ten minutes later, bsnc i no understand o.. dem they say no network. Mama i thought i just told you, you can't call with your phone. She was like, but your uncle called me with his phone when he was in London( i guess some naija network work in jand. i dunno o, i have not tried before). Mama naija to Yankee far o, meanwhile i heard vsnc laughing in the bathroom, babe was not helping matters. instead of her to help me. I was still explaining when this woman walked out on me. That was how she tried my uncle's number till my mum got home. My mum told her the exact same thing i said o. my granms was like okay, bsnc that is what you would have told me now. shey una see my predicament. When i say she is a cutlass in my butt you guyz think i am joking abi.

The other day she and vsnc followed me to the store. I saw this scrub i really like. i was going to buy it, my granms said she liked the shirt. I told her it was my uniform, its not a T-shirt. She says she doesn't care, she wants one.I was not in the mood to argue with her because it seems she is ever ready to argue about everything and nothing in particular. I bought the scrub for her( wetin i go do now).

Two dayz later, she and my mum were going out to see one of their relations. Yes you already know, she wore the scrub and one her trouser. Everybody was laughing at her except me sha, i saw it coming. Mama are you going to work abi you get work wey you no tell us about. She was like what do you mean.. mama that is a uniform now. if you see as she attacked me with insults ehn, my papa neva curse me like that oo. She later apologized sha, but i don't think anybody wanted to be me at that moment.(na good thing i do before o).

I just watched the BET awards. I felt like hugging Janet mehh, i don't want to imagine losing a brother, i have already lost a man close to my heart. She could barely speak, May God give the family all the strength they need. Eventually we will all fall down like toy soilders( yea i got it from eminem song's.. leave me jare)

P.S: I will be gone for a hot minute o, as in steaming, smoking, boiling hot minute. I can't even say i will be busy because busy is an understatement. I will back before you know it. I heart you guyz sha... Hasta bista babies.... :):D

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I am working tomorrow o, instead of me to sleep nooo. i wan blog, which kind juju dey this site eh. The people at my job will not kill o, did somebody say Amen....... ok i will say it by myself AMEN and to think i will be starting summer school very soon, na die o. I will survive.

I got back from work today, Mr. Sean and his wahala that one na story for another day. I was so tired, my bed was calling me bsnc bsnc come let me take you to paradise( eh something like that sha), but i was so hungry. I have barely eaten anything since morning, my new eating habit, story for another day. I managed to eat something, off to bed now. Na lie o, my gran mumsie let me see road. As much as i luff this woman, she has been a cutlass in my ass not pin o, CUTLASS.

Some of you will remember the story about my other gran ma( granma goes to yankee), that was my paternal granms. Remember i said i will gist you guyz about my maternal gran mumsie when she comes, well this one is part of the story...

chai i am already sleepy o( i ll finish this story by force, its not that long na)

My granms called me. Bsnc my back is paining me, abeg help me massage am small.

bsnc: mama no problem.

granms: bsnc you will stand on my back , your hand its too small... that one will not work.

bsnc: mama that one no work o. How can i stand on your back..

granms: i say stand on my back my friend.. This children of nowadayz, they don't listen when elders talk to them( na the woman enter proverbs o)

bsnc: mama e don do, but i am scared o ( which kind thing be this one)

She lay down on the floor. I placed one leg lightly on her back. The woman no gree o, bsnc what is wrong with you. I say stand up on my back with both legs. okay she asked for it. I placed both legs on her back lightly again, i could not even breath sef, i was holding my breath. Bsnc are you trying me, harder, harder, place it harder walk on my back. I took one step, she no complain, then i just relaxed myself and took another step.....

See as this woman scream eh, Jesus!!! bsnc you are a wicked person, do you want to kill me. she bend her head to one side, then she was quiet... Mama, mama are you okay, no answer. I shook her a little. Mama, mama!! still this woman no answer. I don die o, who send me message. I no even bother check her vitals, I was confused, i was about to call the ambulance when this woman start to laugh, as in yeye laugh. I get you shey, i do vsnc she no even shake. you too dey fear sef. I look the woman up and down, i didn't know what to tell her. Person no dey old pass somethings... hisss. Its not like i am angry with her, i was soo tired and she almost gave me premature hypertension. This woman just dash me instant headache this night..

okay bsnc i was joking o, oya come and stand on my back. Mama did i hear you well, who dey stand where... mama goodnite, sweet dreams. Una see this woman, no be me and you today. I just carry my two left leg go sleep( or rather blog). Tomorrow she will tell my mum that i don't have manners. This is not even half of the story, na just say the sleep don arrive and he needs me as much as i need him. i gats to go...

Have a wonderful week people..

Monday, June 22, 2009


It was my second year in UNIBEN, my dad wanted all of us in college to stay in one apartment since we were all going to the same school. My dad told my brothers; i am handing my girls over to you, if anything happens to them, don't bother coming home..lol( pupsie no dey take im gals play o).

We moved into this big house that had four apartments. We took one, my cousins took one, my brother's friends took one and this other family took one. The apartment had 3 rooms with a master bedroom, a kitchen, a parlour...... I had to share a room with VSNC. You can imagine the imagination, it was literally raining men in that house( as in foine guyz o). What i enjoyed most in that house is their gist.. Meanwhile my brothers don first fall our hand, they told the guyz at the other apartment that we were too young( me and vsnc), make dem no come near us, unless them wan face the consequences. There was this guy i was tripping for badly, but you know guyz with their yeye don't date my sister rules, so everybody hold their side..

No matter how much we cook, the food was never enough because my cousins and my brother's friends come over to our place. It was like we were feeding a whole community. I don't know if they timing us or they watched us, but as soon as the food is already, all of them will appear from nowhere. I didn't mind cooking for everybody o, until the day one of my brother's friend in the other apartment brought another guy to our place. I was watching a movie in the parlour, i think vsnc was sleeping and one of my bro was inside his room, but because there was no car outside(his babe took his car). The guy thought my brothers were not home.

My brother's friend lets call him ken(na im brother i been dey crush on), so ken came with his friend and he was like bsnc i dey H seriously, abeg help me arrange something. There was still stew in the freezer, so i just arrange small rice for am, warm the stew. Ken and his friend chop rice finish, clean mouth. Ken come sittan near me as par coast is clear. Ken friend left us and went to ken's apartment.

KEN: my wife thank you for that food o, babe how far now, you know say you no be small pikin like that, i used to date a girl that was way younger than you and the babe knows how to take care of broda. And as you come set like this.. you are not helping matters. I will finish school in two years time, you don't have to waste your time with all these small boyz, i will leave all those babes because of you, i will take care of you,i will take you places you have only dreamt of........

bsnc: Ehen ken where is your brother, i have not seen him since morning.

KEN: huh... babe i am yarning you something, you dey ask of my bro. which way.. you are disrespecting me o, but i go bone because i like you. My brother na small pikin, he can't.......

My Bro: bsnc go iniside the room...( i didn't even hear him coming, i went inside the kitchen, so i could listen, yes i know i be confirmed amebo..lol abeg leave me jare)

My brother was visible angry. Ken could not look at my brother in the face( the guy know say e don eff up), he was my other brothers friend. okay lemme not confuse you guyz. i have four brothers in our apartment, five cousins(dudes) in the other apartment and three of my brother's friend in the third apartment. ken is my more of cousin's friend because they were in the same department, he is also cool with one of my brothers

My Bro: guy you know say you dey eff up. shey i tell you say make you bone my sistas side. I allow you into our home, but you just dey abuse priviledge.

KEN: guy no be so, your sista na correct babe and i dey tell am the truth. wetin sef, you no dey go out with person sister, no be like say i wan break her heart or anything like that..

My Bro: ken e be like say you don dey craze, are you talking to me like that, infact i don't ever want to see you look at my sista, talkless of talk to her, you hear. If you try me i go cut off your broocus..( his koboko)

KEN: wetin sef na only you get sista. abeg settle down..

Two of my brothers came in, one of my of cousin from the other apartment came in, vsnc even wake up sef. They argued for a while, my brother banned the guy from coming entering our apartment. My brother was like bsnc in just two weeks, you are already causing trouble in this house. Why wouldn't stay on your own like vsnc, See me see wahala, wetin i do now. I was minding my own bizness before o. Ken moved out from his apartment three weeks later with his brothers and my crush left with him :(

This was just my first month with brothers in school......

P.S: Yes i have joined the p.s crew lol.. Thanks alot for the comments from my last post.I really appreciate it, really thanks, It is well, God is in control.I miss him though, very much :):). Hope you guyz have a wonderful week.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


I turned on the television, its all about father's day, the news, shows, ad, what we need to get our old man for father's day. I miss my dad so much, i wish i could hug him and listen to his wise words and funny stories.

My dad called me mid 2007. He said himself and my little brother were going to be in yankee for the summer. I was so happy, i had not seen my dad in 5 months( he came for xmas).Even though we text each other every single day, i still wanted to see him. I was making plans in my head, i was going to take him and my brother to so many places. We spoke for about an hour, he advised me about life and the importance of education.

The next day i had an exam. i already knew i got it because i needed just 30 points to get an A, so even if i failed by final exam(like a 40%), i was still going to pass. Twenty minutes before my exams, i had a couple of phone calls, it is well bsnc everything is going to be alright. I was like yes i know, i don't even need to read for the exam.

My brothers called me after my exams, they said there were going to pick me up. Okay my brothers have not picked my up from school for ages. Now both of want to pick me up... Today must be my lucky day, people were wishing me well on my exams, now my brothers want to pick me up. I told one of them to not bother himself because the other one is coming over.

An hour later, i was in the car with my brother. My brother was talking about some random stuff all of a sudden, he is usual quiet compared to my other brothers. I felt a pain in chest, i couldn't breath, i knew something was wrong, but i couldn't place it. I noticed he was taking the route to my aunt's place.

bsnc: Is everything okay?

Bro: yes why would you think everything is not okay

bsnc: i dunno, you have been behaving strange and i just have that feeling you know..

Bro: well something bad happened.

bsnc: What, is anything wrong with pupsie or anybody in the family.

Bro: Somebody died, but its not our immediate family.

bsnc: phew.. I was kind of relieved, but i was still kind of scared.

bsnc: so who died

My brother didn't say anything for the next 15 minutes. i could hear my heart beating so fast again. Why would he not say something. We stopped at my aunt's place. my brother looked at me, took both my hands and told me the news.... bsnc pupsie died today. I remove my hands from his and stepped out from the car. no! no! no! its not true, its a joke right... am not finding it funny anymore.

I walked into my aunt's house and walked into my other brother's arm. He held me for almost 10 minutes, then he whispered in my ears, bsnc its true. I looked at him and i saw a tear drop slide down his face, i turned around and i saw my mum for the first time that day. The tears were falling down her eyes like rain drops. I went to her and tried my best to console her.

I didn't cry, it didn't make sense to me. For crying out loud i spoke to my dad yesterday, he said he was coming next month. My mum turned to look at me, bsnc did you not hear what everybody is saying, your dad is no more. Mummy i hear what you are saying, but i don't understand. i called my dad's phone, no answer. i called VSNC(she was in naija then), is it true. she could no say anything.

The next day i still could not cry. i mean why would i. My mum and brothers were worried about me. Everybody knows how close i was to my pups, they used to call me joseph, they said they will kidnap me one day and sell me to the mallams..lol

Two days later, i was reading an article and i wanted to share the story with my dad, then it hit me.... My dad is gone, he is really gone forever and i will see him no more. The tears just kept flowing, my mum was happy in a sad way, bsnc.. yes, let it out, let it flow, don't hold it back. she held me and i cried like a baby. At first i was angry with my dad, why didn't he fight back, he is the strongest man i know. It was hard, but i accepted it. I cried every single night for 3months, then it was every other day, then once in a week, then once in a while because i realise no matter how much i cry, he is never coming back. All i am left with is happy memories of him.

Sometimes i stop and think, he will not be there when i graduate, who will give me out on my wedding day, he will not be there to see his grandchildren and tell them the funny stories he told me when i was a kid. Daddy you are the most intelligent, funny, wise, handsome, kind, inspirational person i have ever met. I am proud to be your daughter. You are my Superstar...

R.kelly could not say it any better. i wish that i could hold you now, i wish i could touch now. i wish i could talk to you, be with you somehow. I know you are in a better place and i know i can't see your face, i know you are smiling down on me saying everything is okay.. its okay daddy, God has been wonderful to me


Happy father's day to all the wonderful daddys out there. If you get your papa, respect your papa, love your papa, embrace your papa because papa no get two. Daddys are the best o. Thanks for the comments from my last post, you guyz are too much. oya chop knuckles.

Have a lovely week