I HAD A THOUGHT

I met him through my friend at another friend’s get together. He was easy on the eye. He reminded me of lance gross, but a slightly lighter version. I noticed him a few times and I think he noticed me as well ( Maybe in my head). I asked a couple of my friends who he was. None of them seem to know him. He wasn’t from these parts. I guess that was why he seemed so different from the rest. He was by himself through out. I was going to say hi, but I was like if the guy is feeling me he would say hi na. Plus I can be unnecessarily shy sometimes ( a shocker abi? Who would have thought moi shy)? After a while I was like abeg jor. It’s not that serious.( even though dude was seriously foine lol) I was like let me enjoy myself in the parry jare. If it was meant to be it will be





I was about to leave and I saw one of my friends( lemme call him Nonso) I haven’t seen in a long time. When I just came into the country, he was one of the guys that showed me around. He was one of my few male friends that just liked me as a friend ( not trying to take it to the next level). Although, he used to tell his mum that I am her future daughter-in-law lol ( Another story for another day). Anyways so i was catching up with my old pal and like a day time soap opera, Nonso happened to know him ( lemme call him Lance). He stood close to Nonso, not saying anything. I didn’t know if he was staring at me or someone else because he had his shades on. I turned back to Nonso, but I couldn’t understand what Nonso was telling me again. I knew he was talking, I saw his lips moving and I couldn’t comprehend if he was speaking English again lol. He sounded like those chopped and screwed songs. ( With lance standing there like on Hulk Hogan, how can I concentrate). I couldn’t take it any longer and I said hi to Lance. He turned towards me as if he was seeing for the first time and said hello back and he goes I saw you checking me out. I was like huh (this dude must be feeling himself oh). He said has only kidding. Nonso introduced us to each other. Told me lance was from another state, he just came in a few days ago to see his uncle who lives here.





I spoke to Lance for another 20 minutes and we exchanged numbers afterwards. He called me that night and we spoke for a couple of hours. He was not just funny and cute, he was also a serious Christian ( just day 1, so far so good). After that he called me every day. I grew to really like him, till I lost my phone or I think someone stole it ( you see devil). It took me a few weeks to get a new phone, but when I eventually did, I couldn’t get the numbers from my old phone. Strange because when I changed my phone the last time I got all my contacts and text messages. ( see what I am talking about, bad belle). I couldn’t get in touch with him or Nonso ( when nonso was giving me his new number at the get together, I was temporarily deaf oh) . Lance didn’t call me again.





That was almost 13 months ago. Fast forward to a few weeks ago before my graduation. A friend of mine was telling about her new boyfriend. I can’t remember if I asked her or she was just telling me. Anyways she told me I will meet him soon. Shey I said my life is some sort of a day time soap opera . Of course it was lance na. From all the guys she should have introduced me to. It just has to be lance. He was very friendly though. He treated me like an old friend and told the babe that he met me last year at a function ( he spared her the rest of the details sha lol) When we were alone, he asked me what happened. He said he taught we liked each other and all of sudden I stopped calling him. My phone was constantly turned off. He said he tried again a couple of days later and he afterwards he decided to let it go. I told him how I lost my phone and contacts and how I even tried to get in touch with Nonso, but to no avail. I was still explaining when my friend came in. I didn’t talk to him afterwards, the few times I saw him we said hi to each other and that was it. There was no use complicating things. Meanwhile my friend talks about him 24/7. I didn’t mind before, but now that I know it was lance. I wish she could take a 5 minutes break once in a while ( My goodness)







On graduation day, I saw him and he congratulated me. I told him I was really happy for him and my friend ( I honestly was happy for them though). I told him I wish them all the best. Fast forward to a couple of days later. She is engaged and she wants me to be in her bridal train. Wahala dey lol. I am happy for them, but why did she have to put me inside bridal train now. Lord help me, I need to be constantly reciting the lord’s prayer and emphases the “deliver us from evil and leads us not into temptation* . People pray for me oh. I was telling a friend of mine this story a few days ago and I was like I guess it wasn’t meant to be and she goes, “ you think” lol. What helpful friends I got right lol. Meanwhile my grandma is still coming this month oh. Shey if I was the one getting married she would let me be. I am still studying for my board exam. Seems like I need a lot of prayers this period lol. Have a nice one people. Thanks for all the congratulatory comments. Love y’all .







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Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney : Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fools!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.