HER COUCH

Hello beautiful people. Hope you guyz had a wonderful week, I was working through out the weekend as usual. My granma, the mother of my mum. She has gone back to the motherland. As much as I wanted to see her go, I miss her company already. That is one funny lady, even though she tormented me whenever she had the chance…lol. She gave me some great advice just when I needed them. She is an amazing person, but she no gree old o. If you saw the jeans she brought before she left. Hmmm nuff said..lol. I rest my case. She said she doesn’t know about me, but she is still having her groove on. She and my mum I no know who like enjoyment pass. Those babes love life o. I guess my ma is truly the daughter of her mother.


Anyways to the gist of today, of course its bout me G. mama. Okay so my mum brought a new couch abi na sofa, anyone jare. She brought this new cream colored couch, it was really cute and all, but if you ask me, I really don’t think she needs it, but you didn’t ask so I will be quiet. My ma has been going on and on about the couch for sometime, she finally brought it. The next day my grams told us it will be her permanent chair until she leaves. The funny thing is that the chair could contain two people. My mum wasn’t happy sha, but we were like okay mama whatever you want, abi she is the guest now.


My cousin came to spend the weekend with us. He was watching a movie the night before and I guessed he slept off on that same couch. The next morning, he received two hot slaps for my grams( you know how those morning slaps can pain..lol). Kpai! Kpaaai!. Get out from my chair my friend. My cousin was like ooooooo mama why now. There other chairs na. If you don’t leave that chair this minute I will slap you again. My cousin heard slap and he got up in an instant. My cousin went upstairs grumbling under his breath. Me and vsnc was cracking up, I know we should have told him, but we forgot. Within seconds my grams was complaining, she said the couch smelled of unwatched body. Still she didn’t leave the chair o.


A few days later, my dad’s friend came to see us. He was coming to check on us and see how we were holding up, you know after….. yea. He sat down on my grams chair, he said he didn’t remember seeing the sofa the last time he came. He thought the sofa was nice. Of course my grams came downstairs a couple of minutes later, the way she looked at the guy I thought she was going to choke him or something. My mum gave her the mama-behave-yourself-and sit-down-in another-chair-just-this-once-look. The guy said his greetings and my grams waved him off without making eye contact.



The guy having stayed for a while was ready to leave. He got up from the chair and was saying his goodbyes to us when my grams screamed in a high-pitched voice. I wouldn’t lie to you I was scared o, I thought she was having an attack or something of that nature. You see wetin this yeye man do, you see. We were like what mama, we don’t understand. Oh my God you see wetin you do, the man was as confused as we were. We all looked at what she was pointing at and lo and behold, there was this big black stain( it was like the map of Africa) by the head of the sofa. We were still wondering how it got there, my grams was going on and on. I no understand why person go dye im hair. Even if you wan dye your hair, do am with better dye. Shey you don stain am now, you go rest now abi. New chair for that matter. I didn’t want to laff o, but when vsnc burst out laffing, I had to excuse my self. My mum said the man was speechless, he was too embarrassed to say anything. I love my grams, but she was too hard on the guy. Its not like he did it on purpose now. Yea that’s me G.mama, the love of our lives.

Have a wonderful week