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Monday, August 10, 2009

HER COUCH

Hello beautiful people. Hope you guyz had a wonderful week, I was working through out the weekend as usual. My granma, the mother of my mum. She has gone back to the motherland. As much as I wanted to see her go, I miss her company already. That is one funny lady, even though she tormented me whenever she had the chance…lol. She gave me some great advice just when I needed them. She is an amazing person, but she no gree old o. If you saw the jeans she brought before she left. Hmmm nuff said..lol. I rest my case. She said she doesn’t know about me, but she is still having her groove on. She and my mum I no know who like enjoyment pass. Those babes love life o. I guess my ma is truly the daughter of her mother.


Anyways to the gist of today, of course its bout me G. mama. Okay so my mum brought a new couch abi na sofa, anyone jare. She brought this new cream colored couch, it was really cute and all, but if you ask me, I really don’t think she needs it, but you didn’t ask so I will be quiet. My ma has been going on and on about the couch for sometime, she finally brought it. The next day my grams told us it will be her permanent chair until she leaves. The funny thing is that the chair could contain two people. My mum wasn’t happy sha, but we were like okay mama whatever you want, abi she is the guest now.


My cousin came to spend the weekend with us. He was watching a movie the night before and I guessed he slept off on that same couch. The next morning, he received two hot slaps for my grams( you know how those morning slaps can pain..lol). Kpai! Kpaaai!. Get out from my chair my friend. My cousin was like ooooooo mama why now. There other chairs na. If you don’t leave that chair this minute I will slap you again. My cousin heard slap and he got up in an instant. My cousin went upstairs grumbling under his breath. Me and vsnc was cracking up, I know we should have told him, but we forgot. Within seconds my grams was complaining, she said the couch smelled of unwatched body. Still she didn’t leave the chair o.


A few days later, my dad’s friend came to see us. He was coming to check on us and see how we were holding up, you know after….. yea. He sat down on my grams chair, he said he didn’t remember seeing the sofa the last time he came. He thought the sofa was nice. Of course my grams came downstairs a couple of minutes later, the way she looked at the guy I thought she was going to choke him or something. My mum gave her the mama-behave-yourself-and sit-down-in another-chair-just-this-once-look. The guy said his greetings and my grams waved him off without making eye contact.



The guy having stayed for a while was ready to leave. He got up from the chair and was saying his goodbyes to us when my grams screamed in a high-pitched voice. I wouldn’t lie to you I was scared o, I thought she was having an attack or something of that nature. You see wetin this yeye man do, you see. We were like what mama, we don’t understand. Oh my God you see wetin you do, the man was as confused as we were. We all looked at what she was pointing at and lo and behold, there was this big black stain( it was like the map of Africa) by the head of the sofa. We were still wondering how it got there, my grams was going on and on. I no understand why person go dye im hair. Even if you wan dye your hair, do am with better dye. Shey you don stain am now, you go rest now abi. New chair for that matter. I didn’t want to laff o, but when vsnc burst out laffing, I had to excuse my self. My mum said the man was speechless, he was too embarrassed to say anything. I love my grams, but she was too hard on the guy. Its not like he did it on purpose now. Yea that’s me G.mama, the love of our lives.

Have a wonderful week

42 comments:

Bubbles said...

FIRST.!!
LEMME GO READ
:)

xx

Fabulo-la said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Omg ur gramns is Heeelaaareeeos!
lol
LDKMO!
hahahahaha


But iono..what appnd after...?

Sugarking said...

Lol. I love the part about ur cousin chopping early morning slaps "You know how early morning slaps can pain" looooooooooool!!!!

Bubbles said...

LMAO.!!!!
haha
your grams went hard on that man
LOL
haha

bonnie said...

lol @ two hot slaps.
your g.ma is funnyy. wow!
p.s. what does vsnc ...v skin naija chic?
im so new and lost :S sorry.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

LWKMD....LMAO

Your grams no even look the man face at all.

She is a serious character.

Dazzle! said...

LWKMD!!
Poor man

pink-satin said...

lol...Your Grams is a trip!!

rethots said...

...the pleasure of the elderly.

leggy said...

lol...u even laughed...i would have been so embarrassed eh...wats d full meaning of vsnc.

UnderCover07 said...

Dang!!! Dude must have felt quite embarrassed! Eyaah, the guy wld think twice when next he goes to visit and he sits down...lol

chayoma said...

your gramns go kill person with laughter.
Poor dude.

Ebony~!* said...

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! i'm just tryn to imagine the way she screemed like them naija films. strict comedy mehn! LOOOOOOL

TayneMent said...

lmao..are you for real?

blogoratti said...

Fun times, fun times..lol

Trybes said...

Lawd have mercy!!..your grams must me be really mean..This old people sha..anyways,pity for your cousin who had early dirty slaps to start a new day..hehe!!!

Btw...

welcome back!

Blowing Blessings Your Way XOXO said...

Lol...Lmbo! Your grandma is soooo funny! She wasn't playing about that chair o...awww, poor guy...lol

BSNC said...

@bubbles yay you are first :)

Can you blame her, the dude destroyed our sofa..lol



@fabulo-la lol yes she is. I had to clean my the mess all myself :(




@sugarking lol i know because i have received some before..




@bonnie i knew it was hot because it was really loud. Oh sorry my bad. VSNC is my twin sista because she is lighter i call her vanilla skin naija chic vsnc..




@the girl with the red hair my grams no send o. that woman is something else i tell you.




@dazzle lol i knoe, but why did he put his head on the chair now.




@pink-satin lol yes she is..


thanks peeps

BSNC said...

@rethots you mean the pleasure and the pain...



@leggy girl it was a funny sight to behold. My bad vsnc means vanilla skin naija chic, she is my sista and she has a fairer complexion thus the name..





@undercoveer07 lol i was there when he left, but my mum said she felt bad for him. I know, at least he has a learnt a valuable lession.





@chayoma lol she will not kill me oo . amen, yea poor guy.



@ebony lol yea that woman's voice is loud o and they ask me why i was laffing..




@taynement lol as real as can be. it happened live, no downloading necessary.




@blogoratti yes it was thats why i shared. at least someone would find it funny.



@trybes she is a sweet heart o in her own way i guess. I felt for my cousin o. thanks dear its good to be back.




@BBYW xoxo she wasn't playing at all. my mum who the chair could not even sit on it...lol

thanks people ;)

Suru said...

This had me llol as in literally laughing out loud...

Ms. Dufa said...

Lol. I'm surprised your grandma didn't insist on shipping the chair to Naija. Your grandma is hard o! early morning slap! What a lovely way to start a day, extend our "sorries" to your cousin.
She would have waited for the man to go now? But the man sef, ah ah, fake dye!

Repressed One said...

LWKM!!! iz a lie...ur grams is MAJOR chei...i can't imagine the mans eba-rice-ment lol

doll said...

you almost put me in trouble in the office o! cuz I was laughing so hard God!

Sassy Trends said...

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH...BSNC, you don start ooo....no kill me with laffter abeg..you and your family dem...lol

Thanks for puting smile on my lips joor.
xx

Temite said...

LWKM....Chei your grandma is so much fun. MEN!

Afrobabe said...

Hahahhahahahahhah…ha, new sofa that must have cost a lot…I would have screamed louder than mama...

jhazmyn said...

OMG...BSNC, you are just a clown, I'm laffing so hard I'm glad I'm the only one in my office right now...I'd kill to see your GM displaying her antics one of these days, she's just out of this world...

Now i know i really was missing you on blogville

CaramelD said...

Chai! OMG!!!! Tooomuch for me this afternoon oh!

But really, my Grandma has one chair too! Is it an elderly thing? PS How did your Mum get the stain out?

Enkay said...

Mehn! Your G-mama no easy at all! If I be the guy, I for melt and never show up again when she's there.

lol!!

Tigeress said...

LWKMD- omd ur G.ma is too hilarious!!! Poor man.

scarletboy said...

hehehehehe!!! ur grandmother ehn... she's a case, wouldnt want to get on her bad side sha!!

BSNC said...

@suru lol yes laughter is good for the soul my dear...


@Ms Dufa hahaha oh my goodness,that is not a bad idea you know. Me G.mama no send oo...



@Repressed One lol its a ture. i can imagine o, grown man for that matter.



@doll hahaha am so sowry hope you didn't get into trouble..



@sassy trends what did i start eh sasssy..lol

awwww i am glad i did my dear. people need to smile esp 4 this recession period..



@temite lol yes she is that is when she is in the mood.

thanks peeps :)

BSNC said...

@afrobabe hahaha it wasn't that now and the poor dude had no idea. how now.. long time



@jhazymn lol thank God o, i don't want to put in trooble. lol yea hopefully. Both my GM are a bucket full of fun..

awwww thanks :)



@caramelD lol i think its an elderly thing. My granpa has his own special chair too.

imagine i cleaned it up all by meself.



@enkay lol the guy had no idea and he comes to see us once in a while..



@tigeress lol i know, she doesn't play with her things. poor guy



@scarlet boy lol you don't have to get on her bad side. she will get you in her own time

thanks people :)

RocNaija said...

Classic..
The expression on the man's face would have been priceless..

Tay-mee said...

LMAO..did I ever say I lavv your granny..haha..

The man sef..is it that the dye was not dry or something..I don't get!

Afronuts said...

I think its about the little critters I wrote about on my blog pay your grandma a visit...lol

Chari said...

loooooooool!!!!

wish i had a granny like that!

rayo said...

lmsao

naijagirl said...

hahahahaha oh boy! No she didnt!!! what was i thinking? she's a grandma, they say it as it is.
I am sure the man must have been embarrassed.


good to have you back, I was wondering if you had gone MIA

BSNC said...

@roc lol i know, i felt bad for him though.



@tay-mee aww i will send the message across. lol i dunno for the guy oh.




@afronuts hahaha i just read ur blog.nah i don't think so.



@chari lol please you can have her oh. she is something else.




@rayo lol yea...




@naijagirl lol more than embarassed. yes she did...

thanks dear, yea i went MIA for a while, but i am back now :)


thanks guyz

aloted said...

gosh i have been too long from this blog o...your gMAMA will not kill me ooooooooo..kai see how she embarassed the man...hehehe...i hope he will still come to ur house ooo...

kai!

Good Naija Girl said...

lol at your gran...did she try to pack sofa for suitcase?