HAPPENINGS...

Hey fellow citizens of blogsville. I hope everybody is great and you guyz are having a wonderful week. Thanks again for all comments, you guyz are far too kind. Can I hear an encore do you want more( okay ignore the last sentence…).

Work last week was okay, still no drama. I should be happy right?.. Mr Sean is still staring at my starables( boobs). On Saturday, we were discussing about something and out of nowhere he says since his incident he has never had a worker that made him laugh soo hard, I am a wonderful company and he is glad I work with him. (That was the nicest thing he has ever said to me.. I think. ). I was really touched.. even when he calls me sweetheart, dear, sweetie and tells me my boyfriend is soo lucky( I no tell am anything about bf oo). That simple statement topped it all for me. VSNC(my twin) thinks he likes me, but I think he is just trying to be nice abi no be so.

For the first time since I started this job, I was free on Sunday, so i went to church( yes I finally did. Thank you lord). Instead of VSNC and bibi to let me rest, they insisted we go out. First of all the sun was insane. I know I am African, but almost 90 degrees… what is that.. On our way to pick bibi, nightrider refuses to cool us down. The yeye thing was just blowing hot air ( as the weather hot reach).. VSNC did her abracadabra and he responded to her.

We got to the theater and the only movie that seems watchable was Obsessed staring idris ( the guy from daddy’s little girl) and beyonce.( the babe married to jay z).. The soda was close to 5 dollars for a cup, bibi refused to take the soda. I had to drink something, my mum and aunt thinks I am dehydrated and stressed, so I need a lot of fluid in my system. I think I am just lazy jo.. The place was jam-packed, we had to sit in the first row( I was like make this thing no fall on top person head). The movie was okay, nothing special about it. It was too predictable, like our naija home video. I can’t wait for wolverine to come out..

Bibi removed her audio post o. why I don’t know. I honestly thought it was nice, but she says most people were laying emphases on how young she sounded and not the audio post itself. Hopefully we will do something together pretty soon…

Is it just me or is everybody writing an essay on their status update..I was going to blog about something else, I don’t know what happened. Well I saw this write up somewhere by Ali Baba. I though It was funny, so I wanted to share.. Enjoy!!!



Why does anyone choose to wear white shirts when he or she knows that the armpit area of the shirt is yellow yellow Why? Especially when you have not been selected by MTN as brand ambassador. The fact that that part is yellow (as against yellowish) purely shows that the hair under your armpit is a fermentation factory for sulphur.

By the way, out of curiosity, why do people with this custard condition always want to put their arms around you? They also come to church and are the first to shout Alleluia! Not minding the line of sight of the person next to them. I know I shouldn’t be looking and judging people in church… but what happened to cleanliness is next to Godliness. This one isn’t even next to… its right inside God’s house. I don’t know the Bible very well but there should be some penance for that kind of un-cleanliness.

The way I see it, is that you either shave the Bush or stop wearing white shirts altogether. Don’t even try other shirt colours. We all know yellow doesn’t mix well with other colours. It’s a very vibrant colour so if you go on to other shirt colours you will end up having the armpit part of your shirt looking like adire fabric or Ghanaian kente! Pay hair-ttention to your armpits, please or wear a suit. Better still, look for some Texan black leather jacket (yacket if you are Calabar and zacket if you are in any way related to Vice President Goodluck Zonathan).

Another matter that matters if you are in an enclosed place is the indescribable pollution of the air when some knit wit decides to remove his smelly feet from the safe protection and containment of his of shoes for fresh air. Fresh air? You just killed the fresh air! Air murderer! The other day as we were watching a movie in my study, a romantic scene had a man kissing a woman all over. I mean allllllll over. One lady dared to say, you see… Nigerian men don’t love like this. God forbid bad thing. Any man who licks or kisses any smelly feet like this will die of unknown causes.
What of bad breath? People who have this serious condition always want to whisper things to you. No. Write whatever you feel like telling me down. I can read with you around… breathing is my problem. Oh , better still send a text. After now una go they wonder why babes no dey kiss una. Even just blowing a kiss can be a problem. Some bad breath travel by Bluetooth. Its not about just brushing your teeth. You SHOULD scrub your tongue too. In fact, I stand to be corrected, its not your teeth that smells. Its that backyard of your tongue.

Now there is a reason that made someone sweat it out in a laboratory to create a fabric freshener. Please buy one. Or change your wash man. OH sorry, you think that place you drop your clothes is a DRYCLEANERS’? You wish. How can your give clothes to be washed and they come back smelling funky? Improperly made starch and sour smelling freshness. I sat next to one guy at the departure lounge, we know each other from way back. He wore a shirt that was neatly ironed. The smoothness reminded me of inspections in the hostels in those days. In all that smoothness was the smell of fabric not properly washed or well dried. So every now and then I will ask him, you mess? He will say Nooo, how can? I will give him time and ask again. Until I pitied him and told him. He had the effrontery to say he thought that something had died around somewhere.

Ladies please, I don’t want to expose other things… because this is a blog for everyone. BUT PLEASE, PLEASE! Must your braids have an anniversary before you remove it? Like a friend asked, Are braids and weave-on pregnancies? One lady entered the lift from the 4th floor of a 14 floor building… we all got out on the 7th floor and use the stairs. She was going to the penthouse. She was a “big madam” in the office. I kid you not. Do you know how long braids are kept to take on the smell of locust beans being prepared by an Ilorin woman?

That was the day I wished I had cold. And she is married. How can any man sleep through that stench. I don’t even want to imagine his other matrimonial obligations.

Tufiakwa!

Lol that is Ali Baba for you. Have a lovely week people..

MERCEDES, WORK AND CRAZY EIGHT MEME

This blogville citizens, you guyz are too much o. Thanks a lot for all the comments( I dey feel like a young alhaji because una dey burn my heart). I know.. I know I have not blogged in a while, its not my fault o, school and work palaver no let me see road.( thanks Abeni I am okay)..

As I am typing the post, my head is aching like crazy, but I said I must blog today and blog I will.. Work was okay this week, nothing special happened.. ohh yes something happened. Yours truly almost passed out or did I pass out.. I don’t know again jo. All I remembered was ,I was talking to Mr Sean( my patient) one minute and the next I could not hear what he was saying, I couldn’t see clearly. I had to excuse myself, it was kind of scary , I never faint before o. it was nothing major sha, everything happened within seconds. The guy was scared, he didn’t allow me do anything that day.. I felt bad. I told VSNC( my twin) what happened and the big mouth told my mum. My mum called me like every 20 minutes through out that day( who said vsnc message hisss). It wasn’t that serious now, but na wa o, a whole agbaya like me wan just faint like that..

I think Mr Sean and HGF( his girlfriend) are going through some minor problems.. hopefully they sort themselves out. All I did was play his game all day. Ehen before I forget Mr Sean has been staring at my boobies these dayz o. At first I thought it was nothing, but the guy will just stare at them continuously for minutes. I have to cross my arms on my chest constantly. I asked him once what he was doing, he said he was thinking about something( so na my boobies you dey use take dey think now abi). Abeg that one is his wahala, e go tire to look one day.

I just finished one hard exam today, but I know I did well(amen o). This chic just copied everything I wrote.. I looked at her, the chic looked back at me… straight in my eyes and continued what she was doing . see boldness to spy another person work.( I no just get power, make she copy jo)

Let me gist you guyz about Mercedes. We have 4 dogs in naija, but only one of them stands out( Mercedes). Mercedes is an Alsatian breed( our first dog), the finest dog in the bunch. Well when Mercedes was a puppy, my brothers used to give him brandy and beer( star, guilder, small stout). Everybody liked Mercedes, he was friendly, obedient and he knew several tricks until one fateful day.

I was playing chess outside with my cousin one afternoon, there was no light in the house( you know NEPA now) and it was kind of hot, so we decided to play the game outside and the weather not bad outside. Anyhow we were playing chess and I think Mercedes was out of his cage, running around the compound. My cousin called Mercedes a couple of times, he didn’t answer. My cousin walked towards Mercedes, he stopped shaking his tail.. looked at my cousin differently and chased my cousin around the house. I even left the chess board outside and ran inside the house. We were kind of surprised, Mercedes has never acted that way before.. We later found out that the alcohol my brothers gave him when he was puppy was affecting his brain. The vet said the dog has a minor mental problem( no mind the thief doctor, how dog take dey get mental problem again. ). My cousin said the dog was bi-polar… I have to agree with him

We observed Mercedes for a while and noticed if he starts acting funny and we ignored him, he comes back to his normal state or whatever that is.. Anyway there was the chief that comes to see my dad, with his agbada and walking stick. The guy liked Mercedes, he used to bring suya for the dog sef( you can imagine we never chop suya, na dog dem dey give suya chop hissss). The chief did not know that Mercedes has become bi-polar over night. Chief told us to let his friend out of the cage ( for some reason everybody forget to tell chief say our dog don dey kolo small small). He gave the dog the suya, Mercedes chop suya finish lick mouth, then he started acting funny again. All I saw was this big chief with his big belly bouncing everywhere, running inside the house, he left his walking stick outside and his agbada had several bite marks. The chief was shaking, sweating and cursing.. that was the last we saw of him. He never stepped foot in our house, my dad went to his house instead. He said Mercedes needs deliverance. The dog tormented a lot of people sha…

The recent one I heard yesterday was that my grandma( the one from my other post) is looking for someone to kill the dog, my brother said the dog tore one of her new wrappers.( and you know now, old women don’t joke with their wrappers).. she said is either someone kills the dog or she will do it herself. Mercedes don do pass himself..

Congratulations to Our very own Gee.. She is now a Bachelor holder ( it is not an easy something o) more grease to your elbows chica and good luck to those who have exams. God will see you through….

I was tagged by the beautiful bob ij on the crazy 8 meme.

8 Things I look forward to

1. Getting a Tylenol, motrin or panadol for this annoying headache
2. Finishing school
3. Going to Naija on December
4. Our summer road trip
5.Getting my buju banton CD from my cousin
6. Getting my next pay check 
7. Going to church this Sunday
8.Hanging out with my family

8 Things I did yesterday

1. Spoke to my brother from naija
2. Did a little work out
3. Ate a very delicious moin moin my mum cooked
4. Studied like crazy for my exams
5. Got another text message from my unknown admirer( I tire oo)
6.Went out with VSNC( my twin)
7.Did another meme( 100 truth). I was also tagged
8. Stalking people’s blog

8 Things I wish to do

1. Go back in time
2. Win the lottery
3.Get something for this headache
4.Go to Naija every month( yea right)
5. Sleep regularly
6.Exercise frequently..
7.Go to church every Sunday
8. See my family all at the same place

8 shows I watch

1. lie to me
2.one tree hill
3. house
4. half and hald
5. eve
6.ANTM ( my brother hates the show…lol)
7. American idol
8.supernatural

8 Bloggers tagged
1. Bibi
2. Buttercup
3.Abeni
4. Gee
5. L-VII
I need to tag some guyz now
6. scribbles
7. Roc
8. Dante


I need to take something for this headache o, seriously…..

Have a wonderful week people

DRIVING LESSIONS

My dad just got back from work, he was in the parlor reading The Guardian( a newspaper). It was about 6:00pm, so the sun was still setting. I was 15 going on 16, done with high school, so I had a long break, trying to prepare for JAMB. This was my third time that week of asking my dad the same favour over and over again.( I can be a pest when I really want something). I entered the sitting room and said my greetings. He replied, but he never took his eyes off the paper. I tried to get his attention

BSNC: daddy I love your new shoes, where did you get them from. Have you eaten today, I can get something for you. What are reading….. ( I got tired of asking questions). Daddy, daddy…. daddy!!!

Dad: For Christ sake bsnc, what do you want? Can’t you see am tired (he finally put down the news paper)

BSNC: Daddy I have been asking you for this little favour since last week. I want to learn how to drive. I have so much time on my hands now. I just want to learn how to drive

Dad: you are too young. How many girls your age do you see driving a car.. ehh?

BSNC: but da…

Dad: I said no. If you want to go out, tell your brothers or better still tell my driver.

BSNC: daddy is not fair oo. Shey its because am a girl… baby ( my younger brother) can drive, but I can’t.. Why.. . Its not like am asking you for a car even though you brought cars for my brothers when they graduated from high school. This world is so unfair, there is no justice. Women are always treated like second class citizen. You are a lawyer now, you should know all this ( I was not backing down this time)

Dad: he took one look at me, he started to frown, but he couldn’t hold back the laughter that came out. My goodness bsnc when did you become a lawyer?

BSNC: I was frowning and sulking so hard, I felt a headache coming. I refused to answer him, instead I crossed my arms and grumbled under my breath..

Dad: okay okay fine. I will tell my driver to teach or do you want one of brothers to help you

BSNC: I was so happy. Yes I won, but I didn’t want to sound too excited. I thought about it, my dad’s driver is one old guy that like preaching to everybody whenever he finds the opportunity, not that am the devil or anything, but I was not in that mood. I chose one of my brothers who treat me like a gem


My journey of driving began. We drove in this big school compound(me, my sis and two of my brodas). I wanted to use my dad’s car because it was automatic, but my bro says we have to learn with the manual first( it was so hard, why can’t I just use the automatic and make life easy for everybody). I always forget to press the clutch and change the gear. My sister has already picked up within 4 days. I was still moping around

Brown skin brother 1(the one teaching us to drive): Don’t worry you will get it. Take your time.

BSB 2: The girl go just spoil your car before this week end.

BSB 1: abeg leave her jo. She no be VSNC. She will get it

I was getting frustrated. I was trying my best and BSB 2 was making the situation worse, haba( who even send him to follow us sef hisss). Two days later I got it , by this time my sister could drive home. I move one step and she is two steps ahead of me. Anyhow my bro was like shey you know you are driving us home today. Who me, No, please I don’t think I’m ready. My brother; don’t worry you will be okay. I am here, trust me

We sha argued for 20 minutes. after which I summoned up courage and agreed to drive. I was so scared, my hands were sweaty, I could you hear the sound of my heart beat. I said a silent prayer and began my quest.

The distance from the school to my house was about 15 minutes. I felt so good, i couldn’t believe I was the one driving. Six blocks away from my house and the unexpected happened. The road to my house is very narrow, so if a big car is passing, the other car has to wait and vice versa. I know everybody in our area 13 blocks away, we are like one big enormous family. I was driving with one hand( I know lol am a big show off), everybody was waving at me and they were like can you see, bsnc is driving. I turned the music up, I was feeling like a roc star. Wyclef was blaring on the sterio “Enemies.. on the borderline, who be the next to fire.. 41 shot by diallo side. He said he rips sir, but he didn’t have no peace, but now he rest in peace, in the valley of the beast…. Diallo diallo”….( I love that song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Itu-vykAZE

Where did I stop again? Ehen anyways I was six blocks away from my house and I saw the trailer( lorry..lol) coming and he was coming fast. I looked at my brother. He says bsnc pass now. I looked at him, looked at the trailer, looked at my sister, put the car on park.. opened the door and ran away( when I think of it now, I felt so stupid).i heard him calling, but I didn’t turn back. I just kept on running till I got home.

He got home 5 minutes later. I heard him calling me, heard him shouting my name. I was with my dad by this time ( I knew he couldn’t to anything to me). He came in, saw me and my dad. He gave me the dagger look; I must admit I have never seen my bro that angry before. I tried to apologize, but before I could say anything the insults just started pouring out from his mouth. I felt so bad, my dad was even angry with me. Do you want to kill your sister and your brother, how could you leave them like that. I wasn’t thinking straight that was the first thing that popped out of my head. My brother didn’t speak to me for a whole day( I cried all day, I felt so helpless), but he later spoke to me and told me he forgave me. After which he insisted I should never drive again

I knew before they told me, my driving days were over. I didn’t get behind the wheels again until two years later. We laugh about it now, but when I think about it now. All I can say is what was I thinking.. Did I mention am a good driver now, even though my mum can’t stand my driving. According to her I drive like a mad woman..lol , interpretation; I drive too fast. I drive too fast, but I have not gotten any ticket yet. (5 miles above the speed limit is too fast for her)

Hope a lovely day or night or better still have a lovely week

SAD YET NICE

Hello people. Hope your week has been going as planned. I want to use this opportunity to thank you guyz for the birthday wishes, you all are far too kind. Most of you think i had double the fun because my day was on Easter day. Well try zeroing the fun, not even a tea spoon of it.

I had to work all day long. Mr. Sean (my patient) was not happy all day, so he was kind of moody. At first, i was like i should be the miserably one. I later found out that he was expecting some of his family members to come celebrate Easter with him, but they back off at the last minute with their flimsy excuses. Even HGF (his girlfriend) did not show up, so it was a drama free day. I felt sorry for him. I joked about the pathetic day i was having also and we both agreed I deserved the award for the miserable one. I tried to make light of the situation; we talked, watched a couple of movies and played his game. It wasn't a good or a bad day, just an okay day.

I got home later that day; everyone gave me their hugs and presents. We just had a little family dinner which was really nice. I was taken by surprise when I checked my phone, I have never seen so many missed calls, text messages and voice mails in my life( I guess because I couldn’t answer most of the calls). Then I checked face book and blogville,( the icing on the cake). You guyz really made my day worthwhile. I’m really thankful



My little LOL present. Enjoy………


A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.

"Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television.

"And, most importantly make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.

Have a Blessed week

MY DAY

Hello people. Happy Easter to everybody, wait um yea HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME(US). I said i'm not going to fuss today. I want to Thank God for adding another year to my(our) life. Its a priviledge to share the same day with easter day.

I also want to wish the April babies a happy birthday again either belated or advance

afrobabe

aloted

repressed one

enkay

ex-school nerd

Gee

Loila

BrownSugar

Luscious Ron

Thats the few i can remember( sory)





A little something to make you guyz smile. Enjoy!

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.

The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.

After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"

GOOD FRIDAY

How are you guyz doing today.. Don't forget,no meat today. In naija i happen to eat suya almost every good friday( devil's work).I don't just understand it. why do i feel the urge to eat meat that particular day, beats me. Alot of people have been thinking of quiting blogville, please you guyz should not leave o. i don't want to enjoy it here alone

i got tagged by the wonderful buttercup. what she doesn't know is that we both have the same first letter of our names, so all i have to do is copy and paste....lol. Na i wouldn't do that.


*Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
*They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers.
*You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
* Dont google ur answers.
*Make it as interesting and fun as you can.

ENJOY!

1. What is your name: Brownskinaijachic

2. A four Letter Word: Burn

3. A boy's Name: Brad

4. A girl's Name: Buttercup

5. An occupation: Banker

6. A color: Brown

7. Something you'll wear: Boot

9. A food: Beef

10. Something found in the bathroom: Brush

11. A place: Boston

12. A reason for being late: Blogging..lol

13. Something you'd shout: Bastard

14. A movie title: Beauty and the Beast

15. Something you drink: Brandy

16. A musical group: Boys 2 men( one of my fav gp)

17. An animal: Bettle

18. A street name: Bo street

19. A type of car: Baby Benz

20. The title of a song: Baby i love you.. J.Lo

you guyz should feel free to tag yourself..

you know i have to leave you with a little something. Enjoy!!


A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.' To which the little girl replies,

'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh***t?

Happy good friday and happy Easter in advance

THANKFUL MEME

hey my fellow blogville peeps. thanks alot for yesterday. you guyz lifted my spirit. i don't even know why i was sulking yesterday. VSNC(my sis) was like she is still going to celebrate her bday on Sunday. i was going to slap her o, but that girl don beat me twice before( when we were younger).. as in better one. I am not messing with her that chic take style Strong o.

yea did you guyz watch the match,thank God Arsenal didn't lose o. If i was watching the match in 9ja , there will be enough drinks and suya to go round. i never liked soccer before, but my dad use to say if you are not watching the match no suya for you and everybody in my house is a big time soccer fan. i had no choice, but to like the game that suya cannot pass me by( say wetin happen). i still don't know what is happening, VSNC keeps me updated( she is a soccer fanatic).

Well i said i was going to join on the thankful post meme , so here it goes

I am thankful for having God in my life. he has always been there. don't think i can say the same, but am getting there.

I am thankful for my family, every single one of them including some of extended fam.

I am thankful for good health. i have not been sick as long as i can remember

I am thankful for my friends. Most of them has always been there for me. i appreciate you guyz alot

I am thankful for who i am. There are billions of people in this world, but there is only one me( nothing do me jo).

I am thankful for God's favour and blessings in my life

i am thankful for my fellow bloggers. i learn something new from each and everyone of you everyday. i won't call names, but some of una spoil sha. chei

the list goes on and on. its easy to be thankful for the good things

***********************************************************************************


i just had to leave you guyz with a little something something to make you smile.. enjoy

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes : "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM: "I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!!!!

ITS NOT FAIR, BUT ITS ALL GOOD

hey people.. hope your week has been going as planned. I am not happy . Remember from my last post i told you guyz my colleague is going to work for me on my birthday. Well she finally called me and told me she had no idea it was the same day as Easter day, so she can't help me. We talked about it last month and she agreed. I still can't believe i be working on my birthday/Easter day. Its not fair, but its okay. I guess my sister will celebrate our birthday alone. At least someone is celebrating it. lucky her

I was going through my joke file today. i look at it every now and then to make me laugh. i came across this one and i thought it was funny, its kind of old though. enjoy


There were these three men who got lost on an island. So it happened that the people who live on the island were cannibals and so they captured these three men. When they caught them, they told them that they were going to eat them, but the men started pleading for their lives, the people decided to give each of them a chance to live. They told the three men to go into the forest and look for any fruit they can find and bring it back to them. The three men went on searching for fruit, the first man came back wit some apples and gave it to the cannibals, he was so happy he thought he was free to go, but the cannibals were like ,there's still a test, they were like we're going to have to stick this up your ass first but if u scream or make any sound, we're will kill u, he agreed and they put the first apple in his ass, he endured that one, but the second one was painful, so he screamed and they killed him.

Not long after the first one died, the second one came in with some cherries, they told him about the test and he was like okay. So they put the first cherry in his ass, second, third, fourth……….. He was almost done with his test, when all of a sudden he burst out laughing, and they killed him for that. After he died and then got to heaven, he saw the first man they killed, and his friend was like, " what happened mehn, u almost got it and why the hell did u have to laugh", the second man replied saying "dude, I saw the third man and he was carrying pineapples".

ME AND MY JOB

hey everybody. hope everybody is fine. i am glad you guyz liked the joke, i think i will make it a regular thing. you guyz know its monday, so i have to blog about work

Work was kind of different this week(is it not always). As i stepped into Mr Sean(my patient). i heard him say is that BSNC, like who would it be before. he knows i work during the weekend. Anyways i entered his room and was about to say my hellos

BSNC: Mr Sean how are..

Mr Sean: hey sweetie i have been waiting for this weekend all week( wait did this guy just say sweetie)

BSNC: i don't understand. why have you been...( he never lets me finish my sentence)

Mr Sean: i just brought this new game dear and nobody has been able to play it with me

BSNC: ohh i see( i still no understand all this endearment o)

Mr Sean: can you just hook up the game. i want us to play it now

BSNC: you are sure. you don't want to do anything first( i was happy o. another game playing day, but you know now. i can't just show it like that)

Mr Sean: yes dear.. Ms BSNC i am sure( i thought he forgot my name)

We have been playing the game for 5 hours( i managed to feed and clean him up within this time). The door bells rings, yea most of you can guess who it was( who else will it be)HGF.. Mr Sean's girlfriend. i opened the door and let her in

HGF: hey baby, how are you doing today

BSNC: i am fine thank you( baby, hm mm i don't understand this people today o)

HGF: how are you doing?. how was your weekend. Is this a new scrub. it looks good on you. where is Mr Sean

BSNC: em er he is inside( i couldn't answer her questions. i was still surprised)

She went to his room. they talked for about 30 minutes. she told me to continue the game i was playing.

BSNC: for real. you know i could do something else

HGF: its okay. when you play the game it makes him happy and that makes him happy. i could help you with something if you want.

i was like okay where is the camera. am i been punk'd. The lady was full of surprises today. i sha continued playing the game, less than an hour the door bell rings again. i opened the door and who was on the other side.. none other than LL cool j- lip licking-intense eye staring cousin(Mr Sean's cousin). we said our hellos and he went to Mr Sean's room

We are all in the room and am still playing the game since that's all Mr Sean wants me to do( lol... lucky me i know). Mr Sean was telling his cousin how good i was witht the game

Cousin: she is cute, she cooks and clean and she plays PS3.. Can you marry me

BSNC: err let me think about it... NO

Cousin: and she is funny too. okay if she is that good as you claim. am going to play the Mortal Kombat game with her

BSNC: i don't really know how to play that game..( yea rite. i used to play that game with my brothers when we had SEGA, not even play station sef and one of my brothers have all the moves in one note book like that.( you know the forward forward X something like that), so i can play pretty well).

We played the game, i beat him the first couple of rounds and he claims he made me win. he got serious and still i won..lol

BSNC: in your face( i don't know why i said that.. i was so happy i won)

Cousin: and what a face. A chic who beats me in a game, now you have to marry me.

HGF was even happy for me. she was like yayy girl power and she Hi5 me. the cousin was like okay she is kind of good i give it to her. Mr Sean told me to get him another game from his storage him at the basement. It was getting late and i don't really like going there when its dark. His cousin told me he would go with me if i don't mind. Although me and his cousin are not on the same page, i had no choice but to let him come with me. at least i kind of know him and that place is kind of scary)

We were looking for the game downstairs and this guy was trying to get fresh with me. i tried to ignore him, but the guy no gree o. i just left him there, went back to Mr Sean's apartment and him i didn't find the game. The cousin came back two minutes later telling Mr Sean i didn't look for the game and he wanted us to check at another corner of the room because he is sure he saw it there( if he knows its there, why does he need me now. see me see wahala). i just stood there, quietly looking at his cousin. i know i wasn't going anywhere.

After arguing for like 7 minutes with Mr Sean. HGF finally said she will go with Mr Sean's cousin. The guy looked at me, smiled and walked away with HGF. HGF told me i could leave early because she will be there for a while. While i was leaving, the cousin told me to think of his proposal. like that's what i would do all week.

My work was wonderful this week. i think its going to be a good month. i am keeping my fingers crossed because i don't want to work on my birthday. i will hear from my colleague today, she says she might work for me that day..

Have a wonderful week. palm Sunday, good Friday and Easter...

LOL pt 2

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said,"You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, ly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh? "She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, cutie pie?

.."LISTEN UP, D*CKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F**KING BEER IN YOUR GOD D*MN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHER F**KING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, YOU SELFISH BASTARD. YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, A**HOLE?"

........and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?


have a wonderful weekend guyz

YOU KNOW MY P

You should know me P, know where i be, you should know about me. there call me BSN C 2x..you know my P, you know my P. my name is BSN C.. lol( okay i just felt like saying that, after all its the title).. what does that P thing mean sef

Thanks for the comments from the last post and thanks to all my followers. you guyz are more than too much. I just want to clarify something. There is no 1969 story, i wanted to do the april fools thing to roc. I just read vera's own, wow that girl is good o chei. She got me big time, but i refuse to slap myself sha..lol

Yesterday was a very long day for me o. From my last post i told you guyz about something my brother told me about this computer virus thing on april 1st. Turned out to be true. it was everywhere on the news, so i didn't go on the computer through out yesterday( it was not an easy something). Let me gist you guyz about the thing. its not actually a virus par say. They call it conflicker computer worm,It can be used to attack as well as to spy. It can destroy files, it can connect to addresses on the Internet and it can forward your e-mail.Conficker, believed to reside on 2 million to 12 million computers worldwide, is designed to turn an infected PC into a slave that responds to commands sent from a remote server that controls an army of slave computers known as a botnet. it was suppose to lauch on wednesday( i know you guyz are already yawning now.. wake up jo), so my fellow bloggers this one no be april fool o.

Yesterday was long o. i wanted to browse in the morning, i saw this big paper plastered all over the computer saying" BSCN don't touch the computer"..lol. shoo why did they put my name now. i guess my mum did that( i blame them, dem don see me finish now..). i tried to watch a movie, it was too boring. i wanted to go see my aunt, Nightrider started misbehaving again. i called my brother, we both went to the mechanic,they fixed it, took about an hour. Thank God i had classes yesterday, but the class finish now.when i came back the computer was just staring at me( see temptation o). i sha tried to keep myself busy; i watched don't forget the lyrics on NTA( yes we have nta o). it was kind of interesting, but the show finished too. Still this computer was staring at me o. i was like no be me and you today( if computer crash now.. wetin i go do). all because my lappy got spoilt.

I called bibi( yea me and bibi are close friends.i could bet you guyz had no idea,we both went to uniben and here we are in yankee again.. did i forget to mention she is seriously crushing on scribbles..lol).

BSNC:Bibi how far what is happening in blog village(the babe was just laughing at me)

bibi:BSNC na wa for you o.. Blogville virus don catch you..

BSNC: okay i agree, so wetin dey happen now, gist me(blogville you see what you are doing to me)

bibi: i will call you back am kind of busy. am at work ( this babe no call me till 4-5 hours later.. hisss)

anyhow i was okay. nothing do me. my mum came back from work. hope you didn't touch the computer o. me, after plastering my name there why would i touch it.. she started her own story about the virus thing(like say i never hear am reach for news). anyways my brother came back from work. i was so happy(at least the one dey check computer everyday too), so we just talked for like 2 hours about random things. i was like ehen abeg i wan use your computer o. my brother lets call him brownskinaijaboy(BSNB)

BSNB: did you not hear what they said in the news. we should not on the computer today(he didn't not know before, it was my other brother that told us). wetin you wan use am for sef

BSNC: em em er i wan i want to do my assignment( i really had an assignment, but i wanted to just check blogville too)

BSNB: i need to on this computer bcos i have to check somethings too( i was smiling now)

BSNC: okay when you are done.. tell me

This boy decided to change his mind again. i chased this boy and his laptop around the house for like 30 minutes. i got tired and sat on the stairs. i was like i don't want you laptop again, abeg wetin sef. BSNB sat next to me and embraced me.. oo my poor sister is addicted to the internet. i just stood up, looked at him, hissed and walked away. Even my mum and VSNC were laughing at me( i didn't find it funny o).

Bibi later called me sha and told me what was happening here after like 4 hours. i still don't think am addicted to the internet. i'm just used to it, or am i addicted. i don't know again jo. Did i tell you guyz bibi has a crush on scibbles.. ok o. she thinks i'm crushing on another blogger, yea rite. na she sabi and before i forget Happy birthday Afrobabe!!!!!!.. i have not still seen my cake o. still waiting

Wish you guyz a wonderful week ahead and yea my birthday( i mean our brithday, me and VSNC) is coming up too. yay