HERE WE GO AGAIN

Hello beautiful people. How are you guyz doing, i know its been a rough week. M.J, the charlie angel chic and the kaboom guy( he does oxy clean ad too). Micheal the only artist that shout woooooo hooooo, yeeea yeea, heee eee,shummo gal, go on gal, you just have to love him mehh... May their soul rest in peace. I was talking to one of my cousin yesterday. He was like i want to be there with dem M.J, 2pac, biggie,big pun......... bsnc can you imagine the groove for that side.... olodo shey you wan follow them die now hissss( i didn't tell him that o). People go just dey talk anyhow.



My brother just found out i have a blog, the same one that used to read my text messages when i was younger, the same one that answers my phone and pretends he was me, the same one that...... (abeg the list too long). How did he find out i dunno, but i am not surprised. I was washing nightrider(my car) the other day and he was like brownskinaijachic how far now. I was like eh what did you just call me. He was like forget that one jare, hope you tell dem babes how cute your broda is. I was like before nko...lol. Like i will do that hiss...lol. abeg commot for road.(i hope he is not reading this o, the guy will fry me)




To the main gist of today. Yes you guessed right Mr. Sean and my granms again. Okay let me start with Mr. Sean.Before i start, I was in my room, almost cloth less. why because heat wan kill me o. VSNC( my sis) refuse to on AC because she is the one paying that particular bill. You can imagine how hot it was. the next day it was six degrees higher. I went to work and Mr. Sean decided to lock all the windows in the house, no AC or anything because he was cold. Like seriously, is this guy for real.




2 hours later, we were talking about something. I can't remember what exactly because i was tripping with sweat, i could not really understand what he was saying. You know you are pouring with sweat when your hair is damp against your face and your cloth is kind of sticking to your body. When he noticed that i wasn't responding to his questions, he was like bsnc are you okay... You don't look so good. In my head i was like shebi when i faint you will really know i am not fine. The next thing i did was even surprising to me.




I didn't even say anything to him. I took a chair from the parlour, took his fan close to me, turned it on to the highest, remove it from spin( u know those fan that turns now), i made the fan face me directly and i was like Mr. Sean i need this break, please just 5 minutes. unless you want me to walk around shirtless.(make person no go pass out) The guy was speechless for about a minute, then he was laughing. do i need to say i didn't find it funny. bsnc you would have said something. I was like but you are cold and i didn't want you to get ill. The guy allowed me to rest for another 15 minutes, God bless his heart. It would have been another story today o.





My granms just came from naija, two days later she says she wants to call my uncle in naija. I gave her phone card to call, she no gree take... she says she wants to use her own phone. I was like mama you can't use that phone to call, she kept on arguing with me. when i tire to explain, i left her and walked away. Ten minutes later, bsnc i no understand o.. dem they say no network. Mama i thought i just told you, you can't call with your phone. She was like, but your uncle called me with his phone when he was in London( i guess some naija network work in jand. i dunno o, i have not tried before). Mama naija to Yankee far o, meanwhile i heard vsnc laughing in the bathroom, babe was not helping matters. instead of her to help me. I was still explaining when this woman walked out on me. That was how she tried my uncle's number till my mum got home. My mum told her the exact same thing i said o. my granms was like okay, bsnc that is what you would have told me now. shey una see my predicament. When i say she is a cutlass in my butt you guyz think i am joking abi.




The other day she and vsnc followed me to the store. I saw this scrub i really like. i was going to buy it, my granms said she liked the shirt. I told her it was my uniform, its not a T-shirt. She says she doesn't care, she wants one.I was not in the mood to argue with her because it seems she is ever ready to argue about everything and nothing in particular. I bought the scrub for her( wetin i go do now).



Two dayz later, she and my mum were going out to see one of their relations. Yes you already know, she wore the scrub and one her trouser. Everybody was laughing at her except me sha, i saw it coming. Mama are you going to work abi you get work wey you no tell us about. She was like what do you mean.. mama that is a uniform now. if you see as she attacked me with insults ehn, my papa neva curse me like that oo. She later apologized sha, but i don't think anybody wanted to be me at that moment.(na good thing i do before o).


I just watched the BET awards. I felt like hugging Janet mehh, i don't want to imagine losing a brother, i have already lost a man close to my heart. She could barely speak, May God give the family all the strength they need. Eventually we will all fall down like toy soilders( yea i got it from eminem song's.. leave me jare)


P.S: I will be gone for a hot minute o, as in steaming, smoking, boiling hot minute. I can't even say i will be busy because busy is an understatement. I will back before you know it. I heart you guyz sha... Hasta bista babies.... :):D

GRANMS

I am working tomorrow o, instead of me to sleep nooo. i wan blog, which kind juju dey this site eh. The people at my job will not kill o, did somebody say Amen....... ok i will say it by myself AMEN and to think i will be starting summer school very soon, na die o. I will survive.

I got back from work today, Mr. Sean and his wahala that one na story for another day. I was so tired, my bed was calling me bsnc bsnc come let me take you to paradise( eh something like that sha), but i was so hungry. I have barely eaten anything since morning, my new eating habit, story for another day. I managed to eat something, off to bed now. Na lie o, my gran mumsie let me see road. As much as i luff this woman, she has been a cutlass in my ass not pin o, CUTLASS.


Some of you will remember the story about my other gran ma( granma goes to yankee), that was my paternal granms. Remember i said i will gist you guyz about my maternal gran mumsie when she comes, well this one is part of the story...


chai i am already sleepy o( i ll finish this story by force, its not that long na)


My granms called me. Bsnc my back is paining me, abeg help me massage am small.


bsnc: mama no problem.


granms: bsnc you will stand on my back , your hand its too small... that one will not work.


bsnc: mama that one no work o. How can i stand on your back..


granms: i say stand on my back my friend.. This children of nowadayz, they don't listen when elders talk to them( na the woman enter proverbs o)


bsnc: mama e don do, but i am scared o ( which kind thing be this one)


She lay down on the floor. I placed one leg lightly on her back. The woman no gree o, bsnc what is wrong with you. I say stand up on my back with both legs. okay she asked for it. I placed both legs on her back lightly again, i could not even breath sef, i was holding my breath. Bsnc are you trying me, harder, harder, place it harder walk on my back. I took one step, she no complain, then i just relaxed myself and took another step.....


See as this woman scream eh, Jesus!!! bsnc you are a wicked person, do you want to kill me. she bend her head to one side, then she was quiet... Mama, mama are you okay, no answer. I shook her a little. Mama, mama!! still this woman no answer. I don die o, who send me message. I no even bother check her vitals, I was confused, i was about to call the ambulance when this woman start to laugh, as in yeye laugh. I get you shey, i do vsnc she no even shake. you too dey fear sef. I look the woman up and down, i didn't know what to tell her. Person no dey old pass somethings... hisss. Its not like i am angry with her, i was soo tired and she almost gave me premature hypertension. This woman just dash me instant headache this night..


okay bsnc i was joking o, oya come and stand on my back. Mama did i hear you well, who dey stand where... mama goodnite, sweet dreams. Una see this woman, no be me and you today. I just carry my two left leg go sleep( or rather blog). Tomorrow she will tell my mum that i don't have manners. This is not even half of the story, na just say the sleep don arrive and he needs me as much as i need him. i gats to go...


Have a wonderful week people..

LIVING WITH DA BOYZ

It was my second year in UNIBEN, my dad wanted all of us in college to stay in one apartment since we were all going to the same school. My dad told my brothers; i am handing my girls over to you, if anything happens to them, don't bother coming home..lol( pupsie no dey take im gals play o).

We moved into this big house that had four apartments. We took one, my cousins took one, my brother's friends took one and this other family took one. The apartment had 3 rooms with a master bedroom, a kitchen, a parlour...... I had to share a room with VSNC. You can imagine the imagination, it was literally raining men in that house( as in foine guyz o). What i enjoyed most in that house is their gist.. Meanwhile my brothers don first fall our hand, they told the guyz at the other apartment that we were too young( me and vsnc), make dem no come near us, unless them wan face the consequences. There was this guy i was tripping for badly, but you know guyz with their yeye don't date my sister rules, so everybody hold their side..


No matter how much we cook, the food was never enough because my cousins and my brother's friends come over to our place. It was like we were feeding a whole community. I don't know if they timing us or they watched us, but as soon as the food is already, all of them will appear from nowhere. I didn't mind cooking for everybody o, until the day one of my brother's friend in the other apartment brought another guy to our place. I was watching a movie in the parlour, i think vsnc was sleeping and one of my bro was inside his room, but because there was no car outside(his babe took his car). The guy thought my brothers were not home.

My brother's friend lets call him ken(na im brother i been dey crush on), so ken came with his friend and he was like bsnc i dey H seriously, abeg help me arrange something. There was still stew in the freezer, so i just arrange small rice for am, warm the stew. Ken and his friend chop rice finish, clean mouth. Ken come sittan near me as par coast is clear. Ken friend left us and went to ken's apartment.


KEN: my wife thank you for that food o, babe how far now, you know say you no be small pikin like that, i used to date a girl that was way younger than you and the babe knows how to take care of broda. And as you come set like this.. you are not helping matters. I will finish school in two years time, you don't have to waste your time with all these small boyz, i will leave all those babes because of you, i will take care of you,i will take you places you have only dreamt of........

bsnc: Ehen ken where is your brother, i have not seen him since morning.

KEN: huh... babe i am yarning you something, you dey ask of my bro. which way.. you are disrespecting me o, but i go bone because i like you. My brother na small pikin, he can't.......

My Bro: bsnc go iniside the room...( i didn't even hear him coming, i went inside the kitchen, so i could listen, yes i know i be confirmed amebo..lol abeg leave me jare)

My brother was visible angry. Ken could not look at my brother in the face( the guy know say e don eff up), he was my other brothers friend. okay lemme not confuse you guyz. i have four brothers in our apartment, five cousins(dudes) in the other apartment and three of my brother's friend in the third apartment. ken is my more of cousin's friend because they were in the same department, he is also cool with one of my brothers

My Bro: guy you know say you dey eff up. shey i tell you say make you bone my sistas side. I allow you into our home, but you just dey abuse priviledge.

KEN: guy no be so, your sista na correct babe and i dey tell am the truth. wetin sef, you no dey go out with person sister, no be like say i wan break her heart or anything like that..

My Bro: ken e be like say you don dey craze, are you talking to me like that, infact i don't ever want to see you look at my sista, talkless of talk to her, you hear. If you try me i go cut off your broocus..( his koboko)


KEN: wetin sef na only you get sista. abeg settle down..

Two of my brothers came in, one of my of cousin from the other apartment came in, vsnc even wake up sef. They argued for a while, my brother banned the guy from coming entering our apartment. My brother was like bsnc in just two weeks, you are already causing trouble in this house. Why wouldn't stay on your own like vsnc, See me see wahala, wetin i do now. I was minding my own bizness before o. Ken moved out from his apartment three weeks later with his brothers and my crush left with him :(


This was just my first month with brothers in school......


P.S: Yes i have joined the p.s crew lol.. Thanks alot for the comments from my last post.I really appreciate it, really thanks, It is well, God is in control.I miss him though, very much :):). Hope you guyz have a wonderful week.

MY MAINEST GUY...

I turned on the television, its all about father's day, the news, shows, ad, what we need to get our old man for father's day. I miss my dad so much, i wish i could hug him and listen to his wise words and funny stories.


My dad called me mid 2007. He said himself and my little brother were going to be in yankee for the summer. I was so happy, i had not seen my dad in 5 months( he came for xmas).Even though we text each other every single day, i still wanted to see him. I was making plans in my head, i was going to take him and my brother to so many places. We spoke for about an hour, he advised me about life and the importance of education.


The next day i had an exam. i already knew i got it because i needed just 30 points to get an A, so even if i failed by final exam(like a 40%), i was still going to pass. Twenty minutes before my exams, i had a couple of phone calls, it is well bsnc everything is going to be alright. I was like yes i know, i don't even need to read for the exam.


My brothers called me after my exams, they said there were going to pick me up. Okay my brothers have not picked my up from school for ages. Now both of want to pick me up... Today must be my lucky day, people were wishing me well on my exams, now my brothers want to pick me up. I told one of them to not bother himself because the other one is coming over.


An hour later, i was in the car with my brother. My brother was talking about some random stuff all of a sudden, he is usual quiet compared to my other brothers. I felt a pain in chest, i couldn't breath, i knew something was wrong, but i couldn't place it. I noticed he was taking the route to my aunt's place.

bsnc: Is everything okay?

Bro: yes why would you think everything is not okay

bsnc: i dunno, you have been behaving strange and i just have that feeling you know..

Bro: well something bad happened.

bsnc: What, is anything wrong with pupsie or anybody in the family.

Bro: Somebody died, but its not our immediate family.

bsnc: phew.. I was kind of relieved, but i was still kind of scared.

bsnc: so who died

My brother didn't say anything for the next 15 minutes. i could hear my heart beating so fast again. Why would he not say something. We stopped at my aunt's place. my brother looked at me, took both my hands and told me the news.... bsnc pupsie died today. I remove my hands from his and stepped out from the car. no! no! no! its not true, its a joke right... am not finding it funny anymore.


I walked into my aunt's house and walked into my other brother's arm. He held me for almost 10 minutes, then he whispered in my ears, bsnc its true. I looked at him and i saw a tear drop slide down his face, i turned around and i saw my mum for the first time that day. The tears were falling down her eyes like rain drops. I went to her and tried my best to console her.


I didn't cry, it didn't make sense to me. For crying out loud i spoke to my dad yesterday, he said he was coming next month. My mum turned to look at me, bsnc did you not hear what everybody is saying, your dad is no more. Mummy i hear what you are saying, but i don't understand. i called my dad's phone, no answer. i called VSNC(she was in naija then), is it true. she could no say anything.

The next day i still could not cry. i mean why would i. My mum and brothers were worried about me. Everybody knows how close i was to my pups, they used to call me joseph, they said they will kidnap me one day and sell me to the mallams..lol


Two days later, i was reading an article and i wanted to share the story with my dad, then it hit me.... My dad is gone, he is really gone forever and i will see him no more. The tears just kept flowing, my mum was happy in a sad way, bsnc.. yes, let it out, let it flow, don't hold it back. she held me and i cried like a baby. At first i was angry with my dad, why didn't he fight back, he is the strongest man i know. It was hard, but i accepted it. I cried every single night for 3months, then it was every other day, then once in a week, then once in a while because i realise no matter how much i cry, he is never coming back. All i am left with is happy memories of him.


Sometimes i stop and think, he will not be there when i graduate, who will give me out on my wedding day, he will not be there to see his grandchildren and tell them the funny stories he told me when i was a kid. Daddy you are the most intelligent, funny, wise, handsome, kind, inspirational person i have ever met. I am proud to be your daughter. You are my Superstar...

R.kelly could not say it any better. i wish that i could hold you now, i wish i could touch now. i wish i could talk to you, be with you somehow. I know you are in a better place and i know i can't see your face, i know you are smiling down on me saying everything is okay.. its okay daddy, God has been wonderful to me

I LOVE YOU DADDY.

Happy father's day to all the wonderful daddys out there. If you get your papa, respect your papa, love your papa, embrace your papa because papa no get two. Daddys are the best o. Thanks for the comments from my last post, you guyz are too much. oya chop knuckles.

Have a lovely week

vitamins or VITAMINS...

Hello beautiful people. Hope your month has been great, Happy HALF year and happy birthday to the June babies including my lovely baby brother, chai that boy don big o, meaning I am getting wiser...

Mr. Sean is one funny dude I tell you. For those of you who don't know, Mr. Sean is my patient. He is paralyzed from neck down ( I know, I know.. how sad, tell me about it. I thank God for my life everyday), so he is totally dependent on me. Did I mention he has two girlfriends.. Okay oo

Mr. Sean takes a lot of drugs everyday (pain killers, sleeping pills, laxative, vitamins). I noticed he took his vitamins once in a while. On this fateful day, Mr. Sean sent me to the CVS pharmacy to pick up his vitamins. I got there, it took a while for them to verify and give me the drug, but they eventually gave the drugs to me. I am not a nosy person, but I was curious (plus make I no go give person poison drink). Why were they asking me all those questions?
I got into the car, took out the medicine bottle from the bag and what did your girl see V.I.A.G.R.A. I did a double take, via.. what now. Yes VIVA VIAGRA (like they say in the ad..lol). Viagra, so this is what he calls his vitamins. Hmmm Interesting.

It all came to me in a flash. Anytime HGF( one of his babe) comes around, he tells me to give him his vitamin. I noticed his bed got broken on several occasion over the past few month. He always has a new catheter (the thing he used to urinate) whenever HGF sleeps over. I might be putting too much into it, but in this case I am 93.5% sure that one plus one is definately 2.

I remember my first day of work. I was cleaning him up and he had an erection, I was shocked, but he told me he had no idea because he doesn’t feel anything down there. So if he doesn’t feel anything down there and I am pretty sure they do the deed. Then how…. Or who….. but he.. Okay I don tire to analyze this thing. What do you guyz think?

Mr. Sean left his bed for the first time in 6 months. Guess who convinced him to go out, yes you guessed right moi( I am proud of myself o, I did good). I didn’t even worry him; I just mentioned it to him on several occasions that he needs to go out once in a while. He told me he wanted to go for his relative's graduation . I was so happy for him, but who send me message. This guy weighs over 300 pounds and his is 6”4, it took me 2 hours to transfer him from the bed to the wheel chair. I didn’t lift him by myself if that is what you are thinking lol.(unless you make I die.). They have this thing called Hoyer lift that they used to lift patient, but its my first time using it and I was kind of scared. I was like if the man fall now, it will not be funny o. I will just fall with him too.

We got to the venue late, the place was full, but you know they always have an available spot for people with disability, so we had a good spot. I never knew high school graduation was a big deal here. abi no be the same high school I finish. It was really nice sha, he saw his relative, they hugged each other for what seemed like forever. She was crying, he was almost in tears, everybody was crying, except me of course ( wetin bring that one now) .

On our way back to his apartment, there was this other guy on the metro bus with his patient. He had a combination of British and Jamaican accent. I was like you have a wonderful accent. The way the guy looked at me ehn, you will think I said you mouth smells like goat shit. He was like okay, I didn’t know some people where compliment-phobic( only in bsnc dictionary..lol) as in people don’t like compliments.. abi was I wrong.

Mr. Sean thanked me through out that day, but he said he is going to leave his bed again till 2011...lol. Well his cousin( yes that cousin, the one on my case) is doing a BBQ part and he thinks I can convince Mr. Sean to come out again. Lets see how that goes. Yesterday i was done for the day and Mr. Sean goes bsnc can i have my vitamins and i was like will HGF be coming over today. He was like how do you know. I told him i was pyschi..lol. Yes you can have your vitamins alright...lol

Hope you guyz are good.

:D

I can't believe i was that upset..lol. I can laugh about it now.. phew. Okay okay maybe i over reacted a little, but i needed to let it out somewhere. I hope it will take a couple years to make me that upset again. Loila, Abeni, Roc, FlyHigh and GNG you guyz are amazing, Thanks alot. Bibi and Fashinga i owe you one, thanks a bunch. Those of you who prayed for me and wished me well, thanks :).

I just have to do a thankful post, since i have a lot of thank yous to go around,the B edition. I have seen the A,D,E and G edition.

BLESSING: I am thankful for God's blessing in my life. If i was told to count my blessings, i will not finish counting them in years to come. I am grateful for your blessings Lord..

BIBLE: I am thankful for the book of knowledge. I have the ability to learn about you, your son, the holy spirit, your words, prayers, wisdom, miracle... there is so much to learn.

BEAUTY: I am thankful for the beauty and wonders of the world. The beautiful trees, oceans, people, places, countries, animals, flowers...... It is indeed a beautiful world.

BRAINS,BODY AND BREATH: Can you imagine the world with brainless people, it will be full of useless. I am thankful for our bodies; fat, chubby, skinny, muscular, black, white, caramel,orange,soft, wrinkled... I am thankful for the breath of life.

BOYS: They sure make the world interesting..lol.

BLOGGER: I am thankful for blogger.I have learnt alot from this site and i am hoping to learn more. The people here are truly amazing.I am thankful for you guyz, each and everyone of you.

I am thankful that i am feeling better now :) :D




*************************************************************************************

A New vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. " Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman. "Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady. The bewildered salesman asked, " Why, madam?" "There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady **********

NOT SO GOOD.

I am upset, very upset. I have not been this angry in a while. This wasn't what i was going to blog about. I needed to let this out somewhere. I am a nice person. i take alot from people, but there is so much a human being can take. Its like this week is PISS OFF bsnc's week, as the week progresses people just keep upsetting me. I am so mad i could cry, but i am not going to cry. I refuse to..

I don't mean to put this out here like this, you guyz know me well enough. I am a happy camper. I know i will be okay, i know these things happen. I wish i could talk about it, but i don't think i want to.
This no be man palaver o...lol. Okay why i am laughing now. i still dey vex...

I really hope you guyz are having a better week. It is well.

p.s: Comment in this post has been disabled.

NEW ORLEANS

The Next stop was actually Texas, I just felt like using New Orleans as the title. I like the sound of the name New Orleans. Okay enough about the name, but just say it New Orleans, doesn't it sound nice (BSNC chill, enough about the name already).

We were going to stop at New Orleans (here I go again...lol), but we had no family members there. We or rather my brother and VSNC drove down to Texas. I really don’t know how long it took because I slept almost through out the trip. I guess the drugs they gave me after we left Mississippi was still having its effect on me.

We stopped at this eatery to eat something. The people there were so nice and they had this sing-song deep southern/country accent. I really liked their accent and they used endearments in whatever they say. Like hey sugar, can I get you and the cutie pie something to drink, hey pumpkin are you okay. I could listen to them all day. They were playing Don William’s “I Believe in you” in the background. It was just beautiful and serene. It brought back memories when my dad used to have record players or is it record changer, you know those records plate that’s looks like CD’s, but its bigger, the surface is black and it spins. The plates are kept inside this big thin envelope ( I know someone knows what I am talking about sha..lol). My dad used to like country music, we will just sit outside sometimes and listen to it while the sunsets. I could not believe they still have tunable record player.

We got to Texas at about 5:40pm. We turned on the radio and they were playing one of Dolly Parton’s classic “Jolene”. Yes this is Texas for sure..lol, good old country music. Texas is a Big beautiful city; the building, the roads, the traffic was not too crazy. My brother said Texas is almost the size of Nigeria, is he for real….

My aunt stays in Houston or a town 5 minutes away from Houston. I got to meet another set of cousins for the first time. The next day we just cruised around Houston, but we didn’t go to far because my cousins where not really good with the roads. Everybody in the neighborhood seems to be Nigerian, and the bride to be (my neighbor and family friend from naija) lives 5 blocks away from them. The weather was soo hot; I was perspiring for the first time this year. It was like I was in naija again. I went for two BBQ that day in the neighborhood. As a result; I almost missed the traditional wedding.

The next day, we went for a wedding anniversary. There were a lot of old folks, boogying to some old school jams. It was fun; I was surprised I knew most of the songs. My cousins were not feeling it, so we had to leave early. When I was going to show them my running man move..lol. We got home and watched home videos for 6 straights hours, my aunt has this big Ghana-must-go bag filled with home videos.

The next day was the white wedding, or rather weddings. We realized that the two weddings we came for fell on the same day. My mum went for the other one and told us she will meet us later. I was really intrigued by this wedding because I have never been to a combination of a Muslim and Christian wedding. The Muslim part was kind of short while the Christian part took the rest of the day. It was a wonderful ceremony, a lot of drinks, dancing, foods, toasters here and there. I saw this guy reading a book and I was like this na scribbles people. Time to catch the bouquet, chics were almost fighting for that thing o. Two ladies fell down because of bouquet, no be me and una. There are a lot of Nigerians in Texas sha and people say Maryland is the head quarters for Nigerians.

All in all, it was a really nice road trip and now I am flu-free except for VSNC, she has a mild case of the winch flu. Now how did that happen….lol.

Have a wonderful weekend people.

MISSISSIPPI

Mississippi you know i never quite knew how to spell Mississippi, i didn't know it had alot of S's and P's. From Alabama, it took us about 4 hours to get to Mississippi or rather our destination in that area. I was suppose to drive, but since i still have the flu that was a no go area.

3 hours to the journey, my mum wanted to use the ladies and get something to drink. We stopped at this gas station( that was when i saw my first red neck). We entered the food mart.


Cashier: Did you miss your way( he gave us this uncomfortable stare like we were bag of worms).

Mum: No i just wanted to use the ladies and get something to drink.

Cashier: Are you sure you didn't miss your way. Its very strange that you people are in here.

Mum: I just told you we didn't miss our way. Please where is the bathroom.

Cashier: The bathroom is broke and we don't sell drinks.

Mum: I just saw a lady entering the bathroom( then dawned on my mum).

We smiled said our thank you and walked away. I was astonished, did you mean we still have people like this in this 21st century. He didn't even try to hide it, he made it crystal clear to us that we were not wanted in their vicinity. I have heard about red necks, maybe i have even come across some without my knowledge, but this was my first direct approach with one. Na wa o ,wonders they say sha never end. This one pass America wonder...

Mississippi is a village o. Some of the nigerian roads are even better sef, there were bumps and a couple of pot holes. The place was so dusty and i saw my first sand in Yankee( i never see sand since i enter this country o). I saw one or two cows( abi na malu malu) crossing the street. There were a couple of farms with corn. I was just waiting to see a woman roasting corn by the road side.

We got to my uncle's house an hour later. Nobody told us he lives in the forest. The sides and back of the house were covered with tress. You have to walk or drive at least two miles before you get to the next house. His house was huge and spectacular, but still why you go build house inside forest. He said it was cheap and the area was very peaceful although they have killed a couple of snakes here and there. Can you imagine my uncle telling us about snakes, i don't like snakes for anything . Go uncle, what a way to make someone at ease. My imagination was going wild, what else was inside this forest of a house. I was so uncomfortable. if i feel something close to my legs or neck, i let us a small scream. I was so jumpy, everybody was like bsnc you relax now. Abeg people tell me how can someone relax. I had this 15 year old(boy) cousin whom i have never met. Dude had a toy snake, he found it amusing to torment me with the stupid toy. First of all i had this flu that was killing me softly, i was still kind of sore from the wii game and now all i can see and think about was snakes.

My uncle, did i mention i have seen him only three times in my life. Well he is my dad's cousin, i suppose that still make him my uncle or is it my second uncle,I dunno jare. He told my cousin to quit fooling around, after all i was a guest and its not nice to treat a guest like that.( i was already aiming to give the yeye boy the flu). My uncle is a doctor, his wife is a pharmacist and his daughter( who i also met for the first time) is a surgeon. Okay why am i telling you this, well i guess they taught i was a lab experiment because these people were bombarding me with drugs. BSNC take this, no she should take this, that is not strong enough take this. After drinking about a hundred tablet(close to it sha), i was completely knocked out. I slept for 8 hours straight( i have been having sleepless night because of the so called winch flu) and it felt good.

I woke up at about 8:30, 9 pm. My nose wasn't so stuffy again, it was as if they remove the spell on me, i still had the flu, but not the winch flu. We were discussing how bad Mississippi looked and how some villages even looked better. My uncle's wife got angry and decided she wanted to take us to the city. She says she doesn't like it when people bad-mouths her state. We were not far from the truth now...lol.

The city abi na residential area turned out to be magnificent, they had alot of casinos. Since i have not been to Los Vegas and i have no idea if i will be going there anytime soon, i decided to take the opportunity and go to the casino. You know just to see what all the fuss is about.

The casino was breath taking, it is called HARD ROCK. They had all this costumes that rockers wore from the 80's and 90's . From Elvis to Madonna, from Bon Jovi to Elton John, 3 doors down... I played my first slot with 1 dollar and i won 9 dollars, the second slot i won 6 dollars and i decided to stop. The thing was addictive, but i wasn't going to let them suck me in. I saw this couple blow 300 dollars and they left there with nothing. I even managed to buy everybody drinks with the small money i won, at least i didn't leave there empty handed.

After that we went to this music concert which i didn't enjoy by the way because i had no idea who was singing or what they were saying. We left the concert and got something to eat and we chatted about everything and nothing in particular. We got home at about 3am. Mississippi wasn't so bad after all. It turned out alright. Next stop New Orleans or is it Texas.

PS: i took this trip last month, i am back home. I am feeling better now, no more winch flu again. Thanks for the concern ;)

ALABAMA

Hello wonderful people of blogsville. Wow thanks for all the comments, I feel loved, you guyz are just too much. Last week was hectic for me sha. I’m glad its over, hopefully this new month will be better for me and everybody else.

Miss Sneezer single handedly made my flight trip the worse trip I have taken till date. We rented a car in Atlanta and then we began the real road trip. Two minutes to the trip we or rather my brother got lost. I was like for are you for real; we have not even gotten anywhere. Everybody gave me the-shut-up-who-asked-for-your-opinion-look. I understood and buried my head in the novel I was reading (before person insult me). He eventually figured it out (thank God), he put in the John Legend “Evolver” album and that was how I felt in love with the album, the same way I liked his first album. Yes I’m a fan..

Our next stop was Alabama; my bro said it was going to take us 3 hours to get to our destination (my uncle’s house). Somewhere between Atlanta and Alabama, we stopped somewhere to get something to eat. Everybody inside the restaurant were oyinbos. They were quiet all of a sudden and stared at us blankly like we were aliens that just stepped into earth. They were all nice though. We ordered our food and proceeded to do some serious damage to our meal, but the staring wouldn’t stop.( this people where just staring). I tried to ignore them and enjoy my meal; I almost choked on my chicken sef. It was kind of creepy sha, meanwhile my family were busy doing justice to their meal.

I was so relieved when we left the restaurant, I didn’t even enjoy my food. We got to Alabama about 9:30pm. We were all tired and went straight to bed. I woke up the next morning with a stuffy nose. I could not breath freely, my head was aching, I had chest pain…. Yes you guessed right, the witch (Miss Sneezer) gave me the flu. I was so useless that day, sneezing everywhere ( I used a paper towel and close my mouth), I had a catchy throat, and an annoying headache( I thought I was going to sneeze out my brain any minute). I was running away from my cousins the whole day, they thought it was a game, but I didn’t want them to get the witch flu. Yes that is what I named it since I know it wasn’t swine flu then it’s the witch flu..lol

After much persuasion and pleading, I agreed to play the Wii game (boxing) with them. I still did not allow them to get too close to me. My brother wanted to play the game too. He didn’t know how to play the game o, instead of him to ask questions he took the game pad from my cousin and punched me on my arm and boy did it hurt ( wetin I do this people now)

One hour after playing the game, I didn’t only feel light headed, my arm was still hurting, I felt pain all over. I didn’t know the Wii game was a thorough work out o. I felt like I have been lifting weight for hours. I remember the first time I tried to lift weights with my brothers, lord have mercy. Those boy are wicked sha, they didn’t even warn me. I thought I was going to crap on myself. I almost died that day, its funny now when I think about it, but it was not so funny that day. Okay back to my story. VSNC was laughing at me, I purposely sneeze in her direction on several occasions (I know I am evil..lol). The flu was bad o that was when I know there is a difference between catarrh and flu. Alabama wasn't so bad, it was a cool but very quiet town.Next stop Mississippi.

Happy new month people.